Humans are really full of feelings and emotions. I'm talking about me, haha. Today is the auspicious day of Saka Dawa where we celebrate Buddha Shakyamuni's birth, enlightenment as well as parinirvana. Merits are multiplied 100 million times.
I attended a puja in ABC where we paid tribute and homage to Shakyamuni Buddha, from whom everything begins. During the puja, many thoughts and reflections overwhelmed me. Many flashbacks of memories and things that happened the last couple of years. I was a little choked with emotions when reading the text in praises to Buddha, partly affected by the recall of the past that I couldn't continue reciting for a while. There are some things I regretted, there are some things I was bitter about, there are some things I feel so helpless about, there are some things I resented, there are some things I wanted to forget forever. There are some things I wished they never happened. There are many things I wished they be erased from my past. There are many things I wished to change if I could turn back the clock.
But then I realise, of course, as cliche as it sounds, things happened for a reason. The only constant is change. Many things have changed. People I know have changed. I have changed. The situation around us has changed. For good for bad I do not know.
Then afterwards, I realise there are those around me who cares, even those we hardly meet or close to. Last night a friend said she had wanted to pass an amulet to me for weeks. As we didn't see each other, she had been carrying the amulet with her all the time. The amulet has been blessed by His Holiness Dalai Lama and Lama Zopa Rinpoche for my father. And she only knew about my father's plight briefly from our conversation weeks earlier. Last night a couple of friends also gifted me precious holy objects.
Since the beginning of this year, friends have given me so many blessed items. A couple of friends gave blessed holy water from His Holiness Dalai Lama and Lama Zopa Rinpoche. Some gave blessed dharma pills from HH Dalai Lama, HH Karmapa, Healing Lama Kangyur Rinpoche and Dagyab Rinpoche as well as other great masters. Yet another friend committed to 100,000 Tara mantras to be completed within a month specially dedicated to my father's recovery. Many powerful pujas were arranged for him (how wonderful and powerful the pujas and dharma pills were warrant a separate post which I will share next time). Some friends visited my father. Some friends gave him on the spot treatment (relief) or massage. Lots of friends as well as strangers, through word of mouth (and whatsapp group chats) did prayers and dedications for him. A venerable also did animal liberation for him.
Despite the changes in my life which I am perplexed about (not just because of my father's condition but other matters as well), I am truly grateful for friends' concern and their encouraging words. My faith in humanity restored, I just cannot continue to dwell in the past with regrets and the unpleasant stuff. Only then can I move forward in this samsaric life and to continue my practice with a little more confidence.