Thursday, 21 August 2008

P.S. I Love U

Excellent piece from Moonpointer's Buddhist blog , lesson from the movie “P.S. I Love You”...

Holly: I see people buying bigger apartments and having babies, I get so afraid sometimes that our life is never gonna start.
Gerry: Baby, we‘re already in our life. It’s already started. This is it. You have to stop waiting, baby.

Comments: How well we live this moment conditions how well our next moments might be. If we do not truly start living now, by appreciating this moment, by not fretting about it, how can we ever learn to be happier in the next moment? Moments are all we have.

David: What do women want? I mean, I can't figure it out. They want us to ask. They don't want us to ask. They want us to make a move. They don't want us to make a move. They want us to be on bottom. They want us to be on top... What do you people want?
Holly: I‘ll tell you, but you have to promise not to say I told you.
David: I swear.
Holly: Because it’s a sacred secret.
David: Sacred secret.
Holly: You ready? You sure?
David: Yeah. I think so.
Holly: Okay, come here [whispers] We have absolutely no idea what we want!
David: I knew it!

Comments: Hmmm... even Freud is supposed to have died not knowing for sure what women really want. I think many men don't know what they want too. Either way, humans are often irrational emotional masses of contradictions. Am not sure if it tends to be gender-specific.

Mother: [On Holly's loss of Gerry to death] Thing to remember is if we‘re all alone, we’re all together in that too. It helps me sometimes.

Comments: Is this empathy for all, or is this rejoicing in the fact that we all suffer together? Is this notion spiritually healthy, or a little twisted in a romanticist way? Buddhism teaches in the rejoice in the happiness of others, not in the unhappiness of others - including our own.

Notes: Every heartbreak in life is a lesson to help us - to love better (with less strings attached) - not to love less. In his final letter to Holly, Gerry encourages her to let him go, to learn to love again, telling her that he is just a chapter in his life. Love never hurts - it is attachment to the beloved that hurts - when we have to part with the beloved. The quest for love is often in the wrong direction. We seek to be loved by one, a few, or even all - though that is super-egoism at play.

When we learn to love one, a few or even more instead (beyond the boy-girl relationship sense), it becomes super-altruism, and something interesting happens... The more you truly love unconditionally, the more you will be truly unconditionally loved. This is a natural karmic effect. As Stonepeace put it, “To find true love, be truly loving.” Tough call maybe, but unconditional love includes not expecting the slightest reciprocation.

There are many kinds of love. David realises this when he kisses Holly, whom he had thought he loved in the romantic way. He exclaims that it was like kissing her sister, that they had better just be friends. Hmmm... is this why some kiss early in their relationships - somewhat to see if they can work out as a couple? If not fueled by enough lust, friends will remain friends? The truth is, many, if not all of us, have probably been siblings before - in countless past lives - even if it feels nothing like it now. Whatever it is, all forms of love, be they perfect or yet to be, are built upon friendship. And the point is to make our love more and more pure, for more and more.

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