Breaking up

Recently, I've seen many couples broken up or in the midst of breaking up. Or they are drifting apart. Some of them are my friends and acquaintances.

This lady friend of mine is a successful and popular businesswoman, extremely street-smart, cautious and shrewd in her business dealings. She not only attracted huge profits to her business, she also attracted attention from many male friends, business associates and even strangers. Well, she is a comparatively attractive and flirtatious woman. She is also very protective of her family, especially of her hubby and children, as she is more exposed to the public. But I feel that it didn't help in any way her relationship with her hubby.

I have often in the past wondered how would her hubby had taken to her growing popularity and wealth, while he remained a mediocre civil servant; quiet, reserved and polite. When they married, they were poor and struggled for a number of years till my lady friend started her own business. Although my lady friend has not made known about any problems surfacing in her marriage, she has not confided in anyone because she does not trust anyone. She has remained cheerful and optimistic in the eyes of outsiders. But I am sad to detect hints of tears in her marriage, through her emails, through what she wrote, through things she said. Perhaps her husband is insecure. Perhaps they have drifted apart in their aspirations. They have stopped to share. My gut feel tells me I may be right. I hope I am wrong.

I know my lady friend still loves her hubby. She is hoping things will improve between them. However, I feel that for a marriage to work, there has to be trust and commitment besides almighty love. Children may play an integral part in maintaining that connection, but ultimately if there is no longer love or if the intense feelings and understanding between the couple are gone, it may be better to just let go.

A couple is brought together by fate or destiny ("缘分" in chinese), but fate can also draw them apart. Sometimes it may be better to love someone even though he/she is not with you, than to hang on when there is no longer feelings for each other. I feel a person deserves his/her own happiness. Open your heart, let go, and find your own brand of happiness. Love has its own time, season and own reasons. You can't ask it to stay, you can only embrace as it comes and be glad that for a moment in your life, it was yours. Be thankful that at least you did have the "缘" with that person in the first place. 缘分本来就是天意, 注定的.可遇不可求,也不可以自己改变. I wish my lady friend will find her own happiness soon. 祝福你.