Slowly but surely

NO, I have not been gorging myself silly with meat ever since I ended my 100-day vegetarian diet a couple of weeks ago. In fact, I think I have eaten so much lesser meat during my 'normal' daily diet now, compared to before. And I have not checked out ALL the usual food I would eat, no cravings.  Just only had chicken rice 2 days ago, 2 weeks after my veg diet.  Had california maki and salmon sashimi. Had siew mai and har gow (pork dumplings and prawn dumplings) and lo mai gai (chicken glutinous rice). 

You know what, although it is more "convenient" to find food now, I am having mixed feelings about the  return to a normal diet. First of all, when I eat meat now (even though I ate lesser portion), I somehow feel so bloated after each meal. It makes me uncomfortable. I recall those veg days, I could eat as much as I like, and yet did not feel full and bloated. Secondly, when I took my first bite of pork after the veg diet, I actually felt it tasted "smelly" and could not stand the smell lingering in my mouth. Thirdly, now whenever I sink my teeth into pork or chicken or prawn or fish, I would feel a tinge of guilt somehow. Lastly, that dream of seeing live crabs and fishes on my plate did affected me a little. The feeling was akin to the other dream I had eons ago, about seeing a butchered bloody white cow.

Maybe it is psychological or my system has got used to a herbivorous diet. After all, besides the 100 days of veg diet, I had gone on a one-month veg diet earlier this year, plus a number of those one-day veg diets. In total, I think I went through more than 130 days of vegetarian. So for more than 1/3 of this year, I had abstained from meat and this is a personal admirable feat to me.

Now I am considering going on a vegetarian diet again (deciding when to restart). I won't say I would totally ween off meat as yet, but at least I am trying to lessen the intake. One step at a time, slowly but surely.