What could it be?

The past week I was really in a frustrated mood. Something just did not seemed right. I couldn't explain why.

Whenever I was in the office sitting in my new seat and table, I would be struck with a heaviness on my head. It was not exactly like a normal headache which could be taken care of by downing some aspirin. The heaviness on my head felt as if someone's hands were grabbing my head all the time, pressing it down. It felt like numbness at times and at other times, a heavy floating feeling, with something gnawing inside my head. And the back of my neck felt flushed, almost stuffy and hot, despite the cool aircon. I did not feel sick, nor do I believe I was sick. Because this feeling was very different from the times when I was really sick. And the incredible thing was, whenever I get out of the office, I would immediately felt better again.

Now I must stress that this was not a case of work stress as this period is so-called "off peak" before the Chinese New Year. All I know is whenever I was at my desk, I couldn't concentrate on my work, couldn't think straight and became sort of edgy, losing my patience over the slightest of matters and with colleagues.

I wonder could it be the feng shui of my office, or maybe just around the area where I was sitting. A fervent believer in feng shui, I actually did felt something might be wrong. Maybe it was that huge brochure shelf next to me which was "shooting poison arrows or blades" in my direction. Or maybe it was the direction I was facing. I was facing the window with a great view (and which was supposedly my lucky direction) but perhaps because my back was facing the rest of the office? Or perhaps it was the small side table besides my main table, whereby I would be working on my laptop. Perhaps the small table was simply "too small"? Or perhaps I had my back to the other people whom I couldn't see and hence I had no "backing" (in feng shui, it is known as the "support of the mountains". Perhaps that explained why I could be suffering from pangs of "backstabbing" and moments of sabotages?

Perhaps it was the collective consequence of all these cases of bad feng shui which had attributed to my headache. Even though I had heeded my master's advise to cleanse the "negative energy" inside me, I still get this headache. I prayed. I also meditated. Everyday, I hope that I would be alright the next day. Everyday, I hope that the next day I would not be frowning at my desk. Perhaps I should go for a massage. I will give myself another few days to find some "cure" to this "ailment". Or....I am going to change seat soon.