Feel

Today 10 Nov, for no reason at all, I woke up feeling so sad. Early in the morning, while I was putting on my make up, I snapped a few photos of myself close up with my mobile phone. I often do this to see how was my disposition at the present state.

I had learnt a little about face reading. I saw the area between my eye brows (which is the Life Palace) is a little dark. This is the most important area in terms of face reading. No matter how much powder I put on to cover the dark area, it was still there.

Thankfully nothing drastic happened in the office for the rest of the day. Except I bumped into a 50-year-old colleague. I noticed that his normally-bushy-black eyebrow suddenly has a strand of white hair. Not a good sign. If you normally have black brow hair and suddenly there is a white strand of hair that shoot out, it is not good news.

Another colleague in her late 30s was in a foul mood today and kept muttering "I am not in a good mood today" and gave me a slap on the shoulders while chatting. I was very uncomfortable. In the cab back home tonight after a long tiring meeting, I passed by 2 stalled cars along the road, which had crashed into each other. Hmm...not a good sign too, I thought.

Back home, just as I stepped into the house I heard my dad scolding my mom, so I ended having a strong argument with him. At first I was calm as I tried to reason with him, I tried to knock "some sense" into him, but he refused to listen, insisting he was right. He has not changed after all these years. Even after having his life saved twice, he has not learnt to appreciate his wife, and still cause her much worry and grief till today. Afterwards I cried so hard. Never did I cry so hard for a long time.

By midnight, I quickly settled down and prayed and prayed, saying a few malas of the Vajrasattva prayers (to clear away the negativities within me). I so much did not want to lose my temper, I wanted to keep calm, but the one moment of anger drove whatever logic and patience out of the windows. Nowadays, I have an acute sense of my surroundings. And these signs and feelings and things I saw today, was a prelude to the outburst tonight. It was gut feel. I was so so sad today.