The stick

This weekend I sat closed up with His Eminence Kyabje Lati Rinpoche to listen to his teachings. There were probably about 40 of us in the room with 18 of Rinpoche's monks. I was probably only a metre away from the monks and about 2 metres from Rinpoche in his high seat. I could feel Rinpoche's gaze at me for a good one minute as we chanted our opening prayers and mandala offering. His eyes were very kind and endearing, as if he knew me. It was as if he was chanting prayers for me. Then I bent down my head so that I would not cry. The atmosphere was emotionally warm. As I looked at the monks chanting, suddenly there was a flashback, it was as if I had seen and been in this particular moment before, it was oddly familiar.

Lati Rinpoche then proceeded with his oral transmission of the 6 Paramitas with his eyes closed almost throughout the entire delivery. It could not have been more appropriate for me as he talked about "Perfection of Patience".

Patience is simply the undisturbed mind not affected by the cause of suffering. It is possible for one to possess patience in one's mind, even in the midst of pain and suffering. When the mind is disturbed, it is anger. Anger is the main obstacle to patience. There is no greater sin than anger. There is no greater sin than a disturbed mind through anger. Too much anger can cause one's appearance to be ugly in the next life and deprive one of wisdom. Being angry will destroy one's good karma.

We can use anger to practise patience. The object of anger is our enemies, and we cannot destroy all the enemies we meet. However the main enemy we can control is the enemy (anger) within us. Rinpoche gave an example. If someone used a stick to hit us, we would be angry. If we examine the cause of harm, the stick would be the direct cause, and it was not even the person who hit us. We should be angry with anger itself. Buddha Shakyamuni said: "The able accepts afflicted emotion as the enemy and not the person."

When someone harms us, we should not be angry. The main cause of being harmed by others, is due to our own past negative karma. We should reflect that when we are angry with someone, we should not retaliate, we should instead be happy that we are going to get rid of this negative karma. If we retaliate and causes others to suffer, this negative action of retaliation will bring forth bigger suffering in the future.

At this juncture, this weekend's lessons came at the right time for me to reflect on the past week's emotional outburst. I should get rid of the "stick".