What exactly do you want?

I have a friend. She's my long time friend, since almost 3 decades ago. So I've known her ever since I started school. Well, we grew up and eventually went our own ways (don't get me wrong, we are still in contact, just maybe meet up once or twice a year, or less). Technically, she's still one of my closest friends. Not that I have many close friends, so to speak.

She grew up to be a very traditional girl indeed, but perhaps bordering along the lines of too conservative (to me). She's a filial, a typical hard-working Chinese girl who supports her family, splurges on them but scrimps and saves like there's no tomorrow. She deserves better. I always think that. I always said that. I always meant that.

She's a workaholic, by Singapore's hard-working standards. Or maybe among us friends. She stays in her company for years. Day in day out, she complains about work. Her huge responsibilities, her desires to go on holidays, her wishes to leave the company. I always told her "go ahead, what's stopping you?" Then she will blurt out 1001 reasons why she should not. Even mentioned the huge benefits from the company if she stays till retirement. Gosh..........she's only in her 30s.

The occasional SMSs and emails I get from her, they're always about work, how she loathes work, how she loathes her bosses, how she loathes this society, how she loathes the behaviour of her colleagues, how she loathes the behaviour of her friends, how she loathes the behaviour of her relatives, how she loathes this world etc... Believe me, I've been shot big blows and blows of PESSIMISM that I've ever wished for in my entire life! I'm sympathetic about her situation, yes. Because she is a dear friend. My question is, why doesn't she do something about it? Rather than complaining non-stop.

Case in point. In the middle of enjoying a Ben Stiller comedy, I got an SMS from her.... once again her desires to take leave, go on holidays. My reply "why don't you just take a few days break? what can your boss do to you if you insist?" She lambasted me another SMS, saying how can I say such "irresponsible things, it's her responsibilities, her workload blah blah blah blah blah. I was like.....excuse me?? What exactly do you want? If you don't wish to take leave, then don't keep saying you wish to, but never meant to, and then end up feeling frustrated and lousy. And if you wish to take leave, then don't keep saying you can't, because why can't you? You're not in prison, for heaven's sake.

I just want my friend to be happy and be the bright-eyed girl that I used to know on my first day of school. I just want her to do exactly what she wants to do. What exactly do you want, my friend?