Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Letting go

Sometimes, letting go is difficult. Really hard. Damn hard. We all know that. Especially when it's letting go of someone whom we love very much. That also mean we have to start all over again, finding another to love. What if the next one doesn't show up at all?

The one who hurts us unwittingly may be as hurt as ourselves too. Who likes to say good bye anyway? We enter into a relationship because of love. But do we leave a relationship because of love? Sometimes some people stay in a relationship despite all the tears and heart breaks. Sometimes people leave a relationship for the same reason.

Sometimes people let go because it was just impossible to be together. Time and fate have a hand in this. Whatever mechanics, I still feel the pain of not being able to let go ....

Happy Birthday, Lee Young Ae!!!

To a special lady,

Glücklicher Geburtstag, Young Ae!

Saeng il chuk-ha Hamnida!!!

Monday, 29 January 2007

How to recognise your true teacher?


HOW TO RECOGNISE YOUR TRUE TEACHER - by Piya Tan
There is a sad joke about having two ear-holes: one hears through one ear, and it goes out through the other (one forgets it)! [The real meaning of this is that one should not remember unwholesome talk.]

Why is it that we may sometimes listen to a wonderful Dharma teaching (or read Dharma writings), but our lives are not changed? And this could go on for years, even many lives. Or, we might even follow a virtuousteacher, but like a spoon, we do not taste the soup? In fact, we mighteven complain: I find it hard to practise Buddhism; or, I simply cannot meditate; or, why do people treat me so badly; and so on?

The answer is simple: we tend to believe what we perceive. If we keep directing our mind to a certain trend of thought, that thought will dominate and control our lives. One negative thought leads to another. We are looking only at the false surface of things.

We need to look deeper within ourselves: and what do we find there if we really look? We will see so much goodness there waiting to express itself.

I WILL DISCOVER THE GOODNESS WITHIN ME.
I WILL SEE THE GOODNESS IN OTHERS.
I WILL BE ABLE TO CALM MY MIND.
I WILL ATTAIN AWAKENING IN THIS LIFE ITSELF.
This is part of loving kindness meditation.

Of course, this would be easier if we have a teacher: but the true teacher is not a person. It is the teaching that makes the teacher. If the teacher is the teaching, then we only need to be near the teacheror just hear the teacher's voice to awaken. However, after such a teacher dies, we can never awaken.

Even the Buddha puts the Dharma (Teaching) above himself. This means that even after his passing, we can still awaken through the Dharma. And it is through the Dharma, too, that future Buddhas arise.

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

No pork, no lard, hard?

Since Monday I have started my 2 weeks of being vegetarian. My purpose is to cleanse my body of everything related to meat. This is for both spiritual and diet purposes. That means eating everything except meat - pork, fish, chicken, lamb, eggs. I am already off beef for two years. Being vegetarian means sticking to just different types of vegetables, salads, potatoes, fruits etc. I can still eat my rice, noodles, pasta, bread, cookies etc. There is actually a wide variety of vegetarian food readily available in Singapore. So it's really not that hard being vegetarian.

It's good to do cleansing once a while. This is also to prepare myself for my pujas starting 2 Feb. Hopefully by then, I will be completely cleansed and ready, and my prayers and healing sessions will be more effective. It purifies all our negativities and cleanses our body. I will be meeting the great well-known great healer, H.E. Kangyur Rinpoche, a highly realised lama. There will be a series of pujas, teachings and initiations specially conducted by Rinpoche, and these activities will benefit us greatly. Rinpoche is highly skilled in subduing black magic and evil charms, and possesses great healing powers. If you are suffering from any illnesses, even stroke or paralysis, depression, cancer, rheumatism, autism or unknown illnesses which doctors have not been able to diagnose, Rinpoche will be able to help.

I am really looking forward to rid myself of unknown negativities. Hehe.

Tuesday, 23 January 2007

Weather-proof

I cant believe I spent 7 straight hours having meetings back to back. It was a miracle that I never kena left right and center by the boss today. My other colleagues did. The weather (the boss) nowadays is not exactly warm and sunny. With the rainy season comes the unexpected thunder storm and the occasional lightning. Well, so the unpredictable weather has become hmm, rather predictable.

Maybe I am so used to this kind of weather already, I am no more surprised by the sudden gusty winds, heavy rains, the floods, the miserable gloomy dark skies, the fast moving clouds and the noisy splattering of waters, and the rushing of people hurrying by.

Need an umbrella, anyone?

Monday, 22 January 2007

Before it crumbles


In our daily lives, we often grumble that our lives could be, should be, must be as happy and as wealthy as we wish, must be as splendid as what we have dreamed it to be. We grumble when things are not going according to our wishes. We grumble at the slightest dissatisfaction, we grumble when someone makes trouble for us. We grumble when we don't earn as much as the stranger next door. We grumble when we don't have a more cushy job as our friends. We grumble when our lovers don't love us enough. We grumble when life is not going smoothly for us.

Tonight, I would beg to differ. In retrospect, I think many people do care for me and love me, so much so that I take things for granted often enough. On hindsight, I don't think I have any real enemies. I have met many people who have helped me, be it in work, in studies, in relationships, in family affairs, and many many more people who would not hesitate to lift me out of the doldrums in my dejected times. Many are patient enough with me to accomodate my ever-changing fickle mood swings. Sometimes when someone treats me too well, I responded by being real bochap, simply oblivion and expressionless. It was always the aftermath that I realised I was behaving like an idiot. I am thankful of my good karma in being able to meet these people, angels and guardians who care for me selflessly. I do hope to repay their kindness within this lifetime and hope that I will not hurt any more people.

To the benefactors whom I have the good fortune to know, in the past and especially now, thank you for helping me grow a little wiser. I will always remember you.

~眼泪成诗...美麗的回忆与錯誤往往最接近真實~

Saturday, 20 January 2007

Postcard to Veggie


Was rummaging through and packing my stuff earlier, saw a postcard from my friend Veggie, sent 2 years ago

"Just want to let you know that you're my friend! Cant imagine how long we've known each other. I can safely say ours (friendship) is .... 28 years!!!?! Hey, thanks for 'tahan'-ing me all these years; thanks for 'shaping' me and moulding me too. You're my guardian during my many X-road journeys; the logical and stable advisor to shine the light in my dark world. Thanks for everything! And of course, HAPPY 28TH ANNIVERSARY TO OUR FRIENDSHIP! ..... and yes, many more to come. Love, Veg, 11 Feb 05."

Aww... I was so touched (again). I suddenly remember "断线的风筝", I went to search and downloaded this song to listen. It brought back memories of this song. I remember Veg likes the singer 万芳 many years ago with this album and songs. I immediately sms her. She is in Dubai now. She replied "Yeah, 30 years ago on 2 Jan, we were seated on the same blue table in Mrs Goh and 林老师 's one and only primary one class in GM! Oh how time flies!"

Veg, thanks for being the only friend who has written to me the most number of times be it through letters, emails, postcards etc.., all these years without fail. After reading the card, it brings back memories, makes me feel a little guilty that I may not have written back as much. Remember our days in GM and SA and your crush on the Edwin and mine on Shaam? And our numerous hangouts in A&W sipping root beer and fries with the other 2 nuts. I hope you have found the life you wanted to lead, and most importantly you are happy. Yes we have known each other for this long and hope we will still be buddies 30 years from now! So HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY, my dear friend!!!

Friday, 19 January 2007

God of the Rings

"For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward." ~~ Erma Bombeck

Thursday, 18 January 2007

Animal kindness


Today I suddenly thought of His Eminence Garchen Rinpoche. I had dreamt of him a few nights ago, smiling brightly at me, spinning his signature prayer wheel. I read this article, and suddenly it reminded me of my friend who is afraid of and the murderer of LIZARDS!

A Tibetan Buddhist high lama brings a message of positive thinking and respect for human life. By EILEEN SCHULTE © St. Petersburg Times, published Sept 4, 2001.

Never stomp on an ant, even if it is about to bite your big toe. If you spot a roach on the kitchen counter, stop for a moment and consider not pressing the button of death on your can of Baygon.

Instead, why not contemplate escorting your unwelcome guests out of the house or away from the picnic area in a kindly fashion? After all, according to Buddhist teachings, any one of them could be the reborn soul of someone you knew and maybe loved in a previous lifetime, someone who obviously -- because of their current station in life -- was not particularly good and kind toward others.

Still, they deserve love and compassion just like everyone else.

That was just part of the message followers were taught at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Clearwater, headed by an individual followers believe is a true holy man: His Eminence Garchen Rinpoche.

Most of those in attendance already knew all human, insect and animal life is sacred; Rinpoche simply re-enforced the message.

It was just before 2 pm when Rinpoche -- a baldheaded, barefoot man clothed in flowing red robes with a yellow Nike tank top peeking out from underneath -- walked into the all-purpose room. When they saw him, his followers instantly fell silent and turned toward him. Bowing their heads and closing their eyes, they cupped their hands in front of them in prayerlike fashion. Even two pet dogs in the room, a black Airedale and a tan German shepherd mix (yes, they, too, were invited and treated with the utmost respect), stopped sniffing around and lay down next to their masters as though something important was about to happen.

But through their actions, they showed respect to the Tibetan Buddhist high lama, or priest, a man who they are taught has lived many important lives and is enlightened. They believe he has chosen to be reborn, coming back to earth repeatedly to help others gain wisdom.

Negative thoughts, Rinpoche said, are your worst enemy. "Negative emotions are the driving force (in) doing non-virtuous deeds," he said. "Try to get rid of negative emotions. (You) want to reach enlightenment as soon as possible to help other beings, not for yourself. That is very important. The most precious thing is a human life. The true nature of the mind is the ocean. The negative emotion is the waves," he said and smiled. "Kindness is better than all the riches on the planet."

And if you unintentionally step on and kill a bug, Rinpoche has a bit of advice: Say a prayer for it.
----------------------------------------------------------
I first met Rinpoche almost 2 years ago when he was here for a teaching. Garchen Rinpoche is the incarnation of the acharya Aryadeva Bodhisattva, a disciple of Nagarjuna (an Indian philosopher, the founder of the (Middle Path) school of Mahayana Buddhism, and arguably the most influential Buddhist thinker after Buddha himself). I remembered Rinpoche among all other Rinpoches, because he was the warmest and most endearing lama I have ever met. As I clasped my palms for his blessing, he was smiling widely and gave me a warm hug, knocking his head gently against mine, and both hands clasped my cheeks and blessed me ever happily. It was as if he knows me, a stranger, for a long time. Perhaps we know each other in our past lives?

Wednesday, 17 January 2007

Zee Ostrich!


It's already halfway through the week, Wednesday, and it seemed Miss Monday Blues never left me. And I can't wait for Mr Friday to appear! The fluctuating moods meandering between bored and anxious and fed up and resigned and dejection all bursting at the same time do not help my frustration. The worst thing is I cant pinpoint "WHAT THE HELL THE PROBLEM IS !" Actually maybe I do know the root of the cause/s yet I am choosing to ignore it. Just like zee Ostrich!!! No matter what and how I try to cheer myself up, its still there.

Tell me what to look forward to in the year of the BOAR!! I can't wait for my pujas to start!

For now, I only look forward to meeting someone on 15 Feb, just before the year of the BOAR arrives! Gah!

Monday, 15 January 2007

The lazy friend

While I was indulging in my monday blues, my forever-lazy friend Jess sms me.

Jess "Me very very lazy leh, can u tell me something to motivate me to at least start packing up my house?"

Me "Your house might be swarmed by termites by now if you dun start cleaning up!"

Jess "Motivate lah! Not threaten!"

Hehehehe.....

Cure for Monday blues

Monday blues, rest and relax in office. Went to see the doctor because my body has been itching terribly for almost a week. Felt I got ripped off by the doctor, paid $32 for a 6-pills of anti-itch medicine and a small cream tube for skin irritation. And advise from doc, after inspecting my body of red tiny dots..... maybe you were bitten by a termite? (cannot be!!!!), do not use Dettol shower foam, use a milder soap (but I have been using Dettol for umpteen years without any skin erosion or mishap!), wear more cotton and less nylon material clothes (did I??!!)..and do not worry, its probably a skin allergy (???)

Anyway wanted to give myself a treat for such a lousy day. Went Lerk Thai. Ordered the;

- Pla Muerk Nung Manow (steamed cuttlefish with sour, hot & spicy sauce)

- Hor Ok Talay (seafood otak in banana leaf)

- Larb Gai (spicy Thai minced chicken salad)

- Pahd Woon Sen (fried Tang Hoon Thai style).

It was enough for the two of us. And we were filled, with no room for desserts. BTW, the seafood otak was horrible, and the steamed cuttlefish although fresh and nice and sour, was not the same sauce I tasted in Bangkok which was even more heavenly! Anyway the company is more important than the food itself, I think. And I am never a person who enjoy food with a table of many persons. Too detached and emotionless. Just one or two friends whom you can talk to and share a meal is already.. in my opinion... just nice.

Sunday, 14 January 2007

Slumber Queen

I have not posted for a long time. Spent a lazy Sunday sleeping almost the whole day, imagine. Think it was revenge for the past week of lost sleep. Sunday morning got up at about 10am to see my parents off for their outing to cousin's baby 1st month celebration. Then back to slumberland till about noon, got up because I heard someone knocking at the door, but I ignored the strangers, probably got the wrong house. Then back to slumberland. By one plus I got up very hungry. I cooked instant noodle with extra eggs. And ate them while watching Japan Hour. It was as if I was devouring the delectable horse-tail veggie, the wasabi fried potato, the hand-made ramen, amid in a scenic countryside in Osaka. Ahh....

After that went online awhile and by 3 plus in the afternoon, my eye lids are drooping. So I fell back on bed, and into slumberland. I didnt wake up till 6plus when my mom woke me up for dinner! God, I have literally spent the whole day sleeping, something which I have not done for a long long time. Hmm.... why? One should take it easy some time or another, right? Zzzzzz..........

Thursday, 4 January 2007

Geshe Lama Konchog!

Last night, I had an auspicious dream. I dreamt that I was in this very crowded temple. Every worshipper there was busy kneeling, praying and making offerings. I do not remember what offerings but I know they were very unusual offerings that were big. So I also followed suit by making the offerings.

After I was done, a man appeared and chatted with me. He told me that this temple is related to a Thai temple, Wat Taphan in Bangkok. I was surprised as I had in real life just came back from Bangkok few weeks ago and I had visited Wat Taphan there. We were introduced to the temple by a stranger on the road, who turned out to be a helpful tour guide. So we visited Wat Taphan, prayed to what he called the Lucky Buddha, made offerings, personally blessed by a monk, and made a donation to sponsor for a monk's robes.

Anyway back to my dream. I was so happy to hear that this temple was related to Wat Taphan. Then the man said he must show me a picture of his master. When he took out the picture, it was the image of Geshe Lama Konchog!

Geshe Lama Konchog was a modern-day Mahasiddha. He was born in Tibet and educated in the great Sera Monastery. From young, he displayed exceptional spiritual qualities. He spent a total of 26 years in retreat and become highly realized, and was knowledgable about all four schools of Tibetan Buddhism. He passed into Parinirvana in 2002 and left behind amazing relics, testimony to the heights of spiritual attainment he attained.

Geshe was in Clear Light Meditation for 7 days after he passed away. Over 200 foreign students and over 700 Sanghas saw many amazing signs of the great realization. When Geshe holy body was offered to the fire during cremation, rainbows appeared and surrounded the sun, there was a drizzle of rain. The rainbows appeared towards six different directions. After the cremation, many relics were found. The 5 colour relics is the purity state of 5 aggregates, state of 5 Dhayani Buddha, state of full enlightenment, there is no doubt that the Great Mahasiddha attained full enlightenment within one lifetime.

On the 17th December 2005 Geshe Lama Konchog’s reincarnation is recognized by HH the 14th Dalai Lama and the Reincarnation is a 3 and half years old boy from Tsum, Tenzin Nyudrup. He was ordained and given a holy ordination name - Tulku Tenzin Phuntsok Rinpoche.

Although I have never met Geshe Lama Konchog in this lifetime, but through ABC (Amitabha Buddhist Center), I have heard of this great Lama and had circumbulated round his precious relics a few months ago. Hence it was indeed an auspicious dream to me. May I have the good karma in this lifetime to meet his reincarnate, Phuntsok Rinpoche. Om Ah Ra Pa Tsa Na Dhih!

Monday, 1 January 2007

Your choice

Someone sent this to me for the new year. New year, new hopes, new me.


What would I love to change this coming year?

Share your gifts and talents, listen with your heart.
Do the things you dream about but don't have time to start.

Pick a bouquet of flowers, show someone that you care,

Be gracious and forgiving, life is never fair.

Hold on to your courage, you may need it down the road,
We all have a burden to bear, it could be a heavy load.

Choose to love rather than hate.

Choose to smile rather than frown.
Choose to build rather than destroy.
Choose to persevere rather than quit.
Choose to praise rather than gossip.
Choose to heal rather than wound.

Choose to give rather than take.
Choose to act rather than delay.
Choose to forgive rather than curse.
Choose to pray rather than despair.

If you practise all these things no matter where you roam,

You may find both sun and rain but you'll never feel alone.

2007! Feel the feel...

Happy New Year! I hope 2007 will be a good year. I do not like the feeling of waiting for something to happen, be it sad or happy. The anticipation often results in an anti-climax realisation. So I guess I have to go with the flow.... anticipation... de-anticipation...whatever.

2006 ended on a sweet note for me. I have not have this feeling for such a long time, so I think it is a good thing. I feel closer to friends who mattered. I feel closer to my already-close family. I feel closer to what I want from work. I feel closer to people whom I know care about me. I feel closer to strangers who have become friends. I feel closer to people who are miles away but close to my heart. I guess these feelings are all that matters to me. Just go with the feel...

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