The deeper lesson from this saga

Don't worry, this posting is not going to be another ranting session against the ex-NewExco of AWARE. And I am not going to go into what lessons we learnt from the saga, because there are many other more eloquent writers of this issue.

With the aftermath of the great show-down last Saturday behind me, I have regained my composure, from the pre-EGM mood of teeth/fist-clenching anger and injustice to the post-EGM mood of extreme euphoria. Justice has been done. It was sweet victory and a historic moment for the women in Singapore which made me proud, really proud.

I read many post-EGM articles and saw the photos (photos here courtesy of TheOnlineCitizen). When I looked at Josie Lau, she has probably aged 10 years (from the photos of her that night). And she was a pitiful sight in her small frame. She was trying to smile and to look calm despite being bombarded with jeers and lambasted by the majority of those members present in the hall the whole night and probably most of the Singapore population for the past one month. She put on a brave front, compared to her fellow stone-faced Exco colleagues. She even had to apologise on behalf of her "SHUT UP, SIT DOWN" exco member and she probably had to take responsibility for the $90,000 expenditure soon.

Reading all the harsh comments thrown at her (including mine) and jeering her for her not-up-to-mark leadership, I feel a little sorry for her. Putting myself in her shoes, I think I would probably just choose to disappear into thin air and never come back. Putting myself in her shoes, how am I going to face my employer and fellow colleagues and subordinates in DBS from now on, how am I going to explain to my daughters why almost everyone publicly, openly, hated me? Putting myself in her shoes, where is my career heading now? Putting myself in her shoes, how am I to face my fellow church members and fellow sisters and brothers in Christ? Would I have failed them in my fight for a supposedly good cause? Or would fellow Christians hate me for being a disgrace to my religion? Many scenarios played in my mind if I were Josie Lau right now. If I were her, I would probably take a looooooong break overseas for maybe 5 years and hope by then no one in Singapore would remember me. Or migrate. No, I would not choose to be in her predicament in the first place.

It was obvious Josie Lau was nothing but just a puppet for her feminist mentor Thio Su Mien, who convinced Josie she could wear a hat way bigger than her head. I would think her pastor also played an indirect role in her downfall, for his misuse of the Christian pulpit to promote her "secular" cause. It was a very wrong misguided action that led to nation-wide uproar.

I would just say to Josie, "It's alright. It is probably a test from God and hope you have learnt a lesson well. I do sympathise with you. Things that happened, happened for a reason. For one, the surge in AWARE membership was really due to you (although in a sad way). I hope there would be no more conflicting action from you. And I hope you pick yourself up and move on (and I think green may not be your lucky colour)."

Why do I feel sorry for Josie? I was motivated by a quote by the great Buddhist master, Je Tsongkhapa, which is a lesson I can learn:

Giving Rise to Compassion
At present you cannot bear for your friends to suffer; you are pleased with your enemies' suffering; and you are indifferent to the suffering of persons toward whom you have neutral feelings, who are neither enemies nor friends.

Consequently, in order to have affection for living beings, cultivate the view that they are close to you, like friends or relatives. Since your mother is the closest person to you, cultivate a recognition of all beings as your mothers. Also, recollect their kindness as your mothers and develop the wish to repay their kindness. These three steps are how you learn to cherish and have affection for living beings. The result of these three steps is a love that considers living beings to be beloved, just as a mother considers her only child. This love gives rise to compassion.

- By Tsong-Khapa in Lam Rim Chen Mo, The Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment.