@sheylara Haha. Am amused. RT @danielgoh: Old Chang Kee is exhibiting at Health & You 2009 exhibition in Suntec this weekend. Ironic.
@patlaw Is it me or do michael Jackson's 3 kids look almost like they never came from a Black man's sperm?
@dk Scientists in Newcastle claim to have created human sperm in the lab. Man are going to be obsolete soon!
@patlaw Anyone has a clue why PR firms do not have project managers? Because they are that superb with B&W, documented project management?
@dk Going my sister's house to spotcheck on her maid. See if my 2 nephew got abuse her or not.
@mrbrown Taitai at Changi immigration: What? Fill up this pink health form? This is new! You must give us pre-warning what!
@phua_chu_kang eh, you all got hear the news ornot? Now ah, got the PIG flu. Last time got that SARS, then BIRD flu, now is PIG, skarly next is dog or cat.
@AngryAngMo And one question... you got bright blue, green, orange, pink and yellow goody bags for Singapore NDP 2009, why the hell no red ones!?!?!
@kennysia I woke up this morning with a stiffy. A stiff neck. FML.
@sheylara The Goonfather plurked me to tell me he's downstairs to take me out for dinner. Instead of calling. Madness...
@theXiaxue How many of you have cursed deaths upon motorcyclists who modified their exhausts so loud it wakes u up after finally managing to sleep?
@MissLoi A student should refrain from 'summoning' me to his table in a manner like he's catching the attention of a waitress in a bar.
@mrbrown Transformers 2 FAQ (contains spoilers!) All I wanna know is why a robot has a BEARD.
@kennysia Last time when we come back from Australia, we bring back apple strudels. Nowadays when ppl come back from Aus, they bring back swine flu.
And me and other tweeters absolutely love @singabeng's tweets (if you can take to Singapore Singlish, that is) below:
Your mouth got glue cannot say "excuse me." isit?
If you have cheebye face, you must smile more.
One time, i ask my father why some drivers don't indicate. He tell me "save battery".
Don't say "shut up and sit down"... wait people make fun of you with t-shirts.
If you burp and let people smell, must say excuse me. Sometimes they actually don't like to smell one.
When you want to go home, don't last minute arrow your friend to do sai kang.
Next time someone nice give you sit down bcos he thought you pregnant, just take. wait he say "orh. sorry, then you just fat."
You all smile more can? Then my gahmen no need to waste your money on teaching you how to smile.
Don't leave your char bor alone at the dining table because you need to go outside sio hun. Wait she run off with another ta bor.
If you like them, go "follow" them on Twitter.