Friday, 15 January 2010

Are you listening?

Caught up with two ex-colleagues last night and it was always good to be able to share and catch up with each other on our current situation.

In fact I have quite a number of past co-workers from different periods wanting to meet up and chat. I think I am real fortunate to have become good friends with many of these folks, even though we do not meet that often. I notice most of my friends they never change. They do not become snobbish even though they are doing immensely well now. Some are doing great in their jobs. Some are in blissful marriages and seem completely happy raising their kids. Some have become richer and bought properties and other investments (so typical of Singaporeans). Of course these meet ups also come with other minor complaints of work, bosses, spouses, kids, and perhaps mothers in law. But overall my friends are a great bunch, trustworthy and grounded.

Somehow I am lucky to have friends who are coping fine with their lives and I am happy for them. They are somewhat an inspiration to me.

In comparison, my friends seem so different from some acquaintances or people I have befriended on and off, who are a lot more bitter with life and laden with problems. I have become sort of a "listening ear" to some of these new found friends. I realise these are people who have issues with a lot of things in life. Some are having serious problems at work, some are having money problems, some are preoccupied with relationship problems, some are divorced or in the midst, most are lonely people who just need someone to chit chat with. These people, new found friends, just seemed very preoccupied with their own problems. They just need you to share their woes with, but not quite willing to listen to your advice or suggestions. Perhaps because they are having their own set of problems, they just seem less concerned with what's happening around them.  All they need is a listening ear. Period. If you ask them something about yourself, most probably they will draw a blank expression, because they did not pay attention to what you were saying all this while. They actually do not need a solution from you, they just need you to listen to their side of the story. As much as I sympathise or empathise with their problems, it can get a tad too tiring sometimes if I am the only one listening while the other party pour his/her heart out. Sometimes all we need is give and take, and not be the only one who is always "taking" from others and yet giving very little of ourselves. It takes 2 hands to clap.

I am lucky to have my own different groups of friends to fall on and whom I know I can count on when I myself need a listening ear. That said, however, I am still available as your listening ear, 80% of the time. The remaining 20%, let me chill....   :)

P.S. Just received a verbal MSN invitation from an ex-colleague to her wedding  dinner in Sentosa in June. So happy for her, because..... FINALLY!!  Told her that although I may be bochap (nonchalant) most of the time (as I am pretty selective in attending weddings), but to those I am closer to, I will definitely make it a point to attend.  I  was hoping it will be at the new Universal Studios in Sentosa though.... :D 

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