Captured this today, as I was caught in the heavy rain. The skies were so dark. So melancholic. Made me sad and emotional. Anyway I just did something today which made me even sadder ... did a parting and sort of good bye to something that is bothering me. So finally I just need to get the "ritual" done. Delete. Erased. Cancelled. Blocked out. The end. No point keeping the residue with me when it means nothing anymore. I heard the saying "time will prove everything" but I think I lost the battle. I abhor this rat year. Can't wait for the bull to come, head on.
The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning. ~Ivy Baker Priest
I bought the Prima Taste Prawn Mee Mix Meal Kit a few days ago. Today since it's the weekend, I had the chance to cook it for the family during lunch. This was highly recommended to me by friends if you want a quick nothing-can-go-wrong fix for prawn noodle soup, since the pack consists of:
I prepared the ingredients, like prawns and pork, towgay (bean sprouts), fish cake, and the yellow noodle as well as a little of bee hoon. After cooking the prawns, I threw them into cold water (so that the prawns can be crunchy). Then I threw in the prawn stock mix and started cooking the rest of the ingredients. And voila, in less than 30 minutes a meal for 8 is completed!
Actually this noodle soup dish which is immensely popular with Singaporeans, makes a simple satisfying meal with noodles in a rich aromatic prawn-pork soup. The traditional method would be more of a hassle as the prawn stock is the most crucial, having to boil the soup stock with prawns, prawn shells and pork ribs before you get the aromatic stock. With Prima Taste, it saves helluva time in preparation. Each pack serves 3 - 4 portion(s). Each pack costs S$6. Here is how you cook Prawn Noodle Soup.
It is also a convenient way to 骗小孩 (bluff the kids) ... because my nephew liked the soup very much and he asked in a surprised tone "Yee yee, you mean you cooked this? You mean not Gong gong (grandpa)? Not Mama (grandma)? Not Lao ma (great Granny)? You mean you cooked this?" These days, we shouldn't call ourselves "cook", more of "coordinator". Hiak hiak hiak .... (",)
Sometimes during the course of my work outside, I go to different parts of Singapore, from the most ulu to the most posh places. Sometimes these places are really far away and whom I would never imagine that these places and people I met existed. In fact what I saw was more of the sad than the happy. Why? Because I saw how many people worked in the hot sun, or in hot factories, some of these people are deprived of certain comforts. I saw the danger some people faced everyday when they are at work. I saw how busy and desperate people worked for their living, to make their lives better. Some are starving, some are poor. Some are rude and loud, but underneath, they are just human beings. I learnt to see the kinder side of people, by observing and appreciating the hardship they faced. Although I have been to some posh places, where the people are at the top rungs of society, where they wield power over others. Some are snobbish and proud, some are totally oblivion to those lower than themselves. They are supposedly to be happy beings. But seeing their superficiality, makes me even sadder than seeing the poorest pathetic person. That's what I meant when I say I see more of the sad than the happy....
This is Wenzel, my friend's labrador. I fell in love with this doggy when I first saw her. And she also did not mind my hugs and she snuggled onto me. She is so tame and quiet. To think that this same doggy is so much grown up now. Like I said before, I hope to own a labrador one day, exactly like this blondie. Dogs are such faithful buddies, even more loyal than humans. That's why they steal your heart away. :)))
Today I was at a client's office. When I entered the conference room, there was a nice smell, the smell of incense. Then I saw an altar in the room. It was Amitabha Buddha. It was rare to see an altar inside a conference room of an office. On top of it, the decor was nice and modern, just like my altar at home. The feeling was very calm and quiet. So I paid my quiet respect to Buddha. As I expected, the meeting with client went smoothly.
I am absolutely mesmerised by this bread I saw in Malaysia. It was stark plain charcoal black in colour. It's called "Bamboo Charcoal Sandwich". Just had to try it. It was plain bread with a tinge of sweetness, tasted like the traditional round bread we have at home. Quite ok taste (I like plain bread with just a teeny weeny sweet taste). It costs RM3.80 for a 3-slice bread.
Once upon a time, my buddies and I went on a makan spree to KL. We stayed at a luxury 5-star hotel, and roamed the streets for the best food.
- Among the 5 of us, we chomped down the nicest BBQ 25 chicken wings from Wong Ah Wah in Jalan Alor, meaning each of us had to eat 5 wings and 5 drumsticks (and 2 nights in a row).
- Also in Jalan Alor, the Portuguese Grilled Fish was wrapped in aluminium foil and BBQ soaked in sambal belacan sauce and ladies' fingers which were sooo soft.
- Penang Assam Laksa was found at a stall inside Jusco in Mid Valley. Although I think there must be better assam laksa elsewhere, but the dish here was good enough to satisfy our craving.
- We discovered the nice Nasi Lemak from Madam Kwan's inside the upmarket Pavilion shopping mall. The chicken were so tender and chilli very nice.
- In the same stall in Jalan Alor where we ate the Portuguese grill fish, we found this kumquat drink so nice and refreshing, especially when you even slurp down the kumquat plum itself.
- We had to have Haagan Daaz ice cream and waffle there, and we had waffles with ice cream every morning at our hotel breakfast buffet. What's with the waffles?
Today I passed by Haig Road, so bought the famous forever-got-queue putu piring (a Malay snack). The queue was bearable compared to weekends. This snack is my Mom's favourite, so I bought a few packs. Each pack comes in 3 pieces and costs just $1. And they throw in lots coconut bits generously.
I am down with sore throat and backache. Been trying to contain my sore throat by taking lots of honey, a super aloe vera concoction, and taking cough drop sweets etc... but after one week, I succumbed to the sore throat, it got more sore and painful, as I need to talk and talk everyday. And I did not get enough rest everyday too as I am outside most of the time running about.
My back problem always happened once every 2-3 weeks these days. After I went for massage it got better but the following week it was back to square one. I was wondering was it due to work stress or the chair in the office, or was it due to the laptop I had to carry with me everywhere I go. Or the bad fengshui of the old office? When I saw the doctor last night, he told me my right rib was a little out of alignment, and on the spot he pressed and poked it back in place. I felt slightly better. So now I have to nurse my sore throat cum backache.
And I supposed to go somewhere this weekend.....gosh...
Yes finally we confirmed a new office location, so we are really getting out of the present old place for good. The current office has run out of space for us, and with a growing team soon, we definitely need a bigger space. Initially we intended to get a bigger unit in the same building, but luckily there were many obstacles faced in each unit we chose. Plus the landlord did not want to give us a good offer, for the old shabby and deprived facilities - smelly toilet with flushing problem, no lift, forlorn environment. Good thing they did not counter offer. So the universe has its way of helping me (whenever I do not like certain circumstances). And best of it all, I do not need to climb the hill (my office is on top of a hill) and climb 3 floors up everyday anymore! I feel the energy of the place is tired and more tired. That is why I feel so lethargic and stressed whenever I am inside the office these few months, despite my good sales.
In the new office which I have seen, the space is at least 5-6 times bigger than our current unit. And the walls were just painted, carpet in good condition, there is food in the same building, the aircon in place, each of us will have our own cosy corner, its only a 15 minute ride from my home, it's outside of the CBD area and there will be a new MRT station opening soon just right beside the building. I hope the fengshui is good, because I already feel good when I saw the place. Hip Hip Hurray!
I like the works of this artist Gustav Klimt (1862-1918). It started off when I saw the painting named "The Kiss". He used vibrant colours to depict his works. Mostly his paintings are of young women and landscapes. For someone in that era, his works are bright and alive.
It seems Gustav Klimt was a man of few words, but the following statement is a rare window to his self-image: "I can paint and draw. I believe as much myself and others also say they believe it. But I am not sure that it is true. Only two things are certain."
"1. I have never painted a self-portrait. I am less interested in myself as a subject for a painting than I am in other people, above all women. But other subjects interest me even more. I am convinced that I am not particularly interesting as a person. There is nothing special about me. I am a painter who paints day after day from morning until night. Figures and landscapes, portraits less often."
"2. I have the gift of neither the spoken nor the written word, especially if I have to say something about myself or my work. Even when I have a simple letter to write I am filled with fear and trembling as though on the verge of being sea-sick. For this reason people must do without an artistic or literary self-portrait. And this should not be regretted. Whoever wants to know something about me--as an artist, the only notable thing--ought to look carefully at my pictures and try and see in them what I am and what I want to do."
“A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed...It feels an impulsion...this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.”
My Aunt Rena is back for a visit. Her family lives in Thailand. She has not been back for a visit for more than 2 years. Aunt Rena, my mom's younger sis, is one of my favourite aunts, although we seldom have the chance to get together often.
Aunt Rena (she is wearing blue, pictured here with Mom) married a Thai Chinese and her family runs a thriving business managed by her husband and herself, as well as her 3 children. She is and looks like a typical rich tai tai.
Although she is rich, she is not haughty. A very devouted Buddhist, she donated a lot of money and food to the poor. She even helped build temples and buddha statues. She has no airs, so people feel comfortable talking to her. Whenever she is back, she would take public transport with us (eventhough she owns probably a dozen cars back home), eat the local food in old stuffy hawker centers, and visit temples to pray and for prayers. And whenever we visit her in Bangkok, she is the most hospitable host who feed and feed us with too much good food till we are too bloated to talk. I remember her homemade glutonious rice with mango was so so nice compared to those we eat here. She also drove us anywhere we want to go for sightseeing or shopping. She is sensitive to everyone's needs. When she talks, it's always concern for you and she never rebukes you at all.
As today is the 15th of the lunar 8th month in chinese calendar (which is also the lantern festival), as we prayed to Guan Yin (Chenrezig), I played the "Inner Peace" a buddhist CD by Ani Choying Drolma. This is one of my favourite CD for buddhist chants because her voice is so soulful and calming. The 4 songs include:
- Namo Ratna Trayaya (the great compassion mantra)
- Om Amarani Jevan Teye Soha
- Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha (Green Tara mantra)
- Om Mani Padme Hum (Guanyin/Chenrezig mantra)
Ani Choying Dolma is a Buddhist nun and musician from the Nagi Gompa nunnery in Nepal. She is known in Nepal and throughout the world for bringing many Tibetan Buddhist chants and feast songs to mainstream audiences. She was born in 1971 in Kathmandu, Nepal to Tibetan exiles. She decided at an early age to pursue monastic life, and was accepted into the Nagi Gompa nunnery at the age of 12. For a number of years, the monastary's resident chant master (who was trained directly by the wife of Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche) taught Ani Choying the music that she is famous for performing. Ani Choying Dolma is an exceptional singer, admired by fans in Nepal and throughout the world. People are moved to tears by the plaintive purity of her voice, and the haunting melodies of her ancient songs and hymes, passed from master to pupil for many centuries. Ani Choying has always believed that nuns have a great desire and potential to make the world a better place, if only given equal opportunities.
"Instead of cursing the darkness, why not light a candle yourself? Never give up!” - Ani Choying Drolma
Today is the Mid Autumn Lantern/Mooncake Festival. BIL bought these mooncakes from the Dragon Phoenix Restaurant which is the flaky cheese flavour. The pastry is soft and buttery.
Once in a while I like to pamper myself when I am working outside and when I am not in the office. In the office, sometimes I packed lunch or have lunch at the hot and crowded hawker center nearby, or don't take lunch at all. Today I had the chance to eat elsewhere, so of course must pamper myself. This is my lunch, Swensons' Grilled Sambal Fish set lunch. The fish comes with the sambal sauce separately (thank god, because I prefer my fish plain and not splattered with hot chilli sauce. For starters, it was onion soup, not bad, creamy and the onion melts in the mouth. It also comes with baked potato, tempura ladies fingers and steamed brinjal and carrots. For dessert, there was the mooncake ice cream (chendol flavour). Quite nice actually, of course because they are supposed to be famous for their ice cream, and the chendol mooncake is a localised flavour. Luckily it was not too sweet. I often visit Swensons for meals, or ice cream, so I think I should be their VIP member for life leh... :)
My parents just came back from Kinmen, paying their overdue respect to my late Grandpa. My Grandpa's sudden death in Kinmen decades ago was a shock and his close ones were not with him when he died because he was on overseas trip back to his homeland. I just like to pay tribute to the man I knew for only 6 years, but who took great care of me and loved me dearly. I think Grandpa looked real handsome when he was young. I had blogged about my Grandpa before, below was my earlier post.
I had a close relationship with my Ah Gong (Dad's Dad). I was looked after by Ah Gong when I was young because my parents had to work. He doted on me like a precious gem. He bought me lots of toys, books, drawing boards (I like to draw!). Mom told me Ah Gong used to bring me out everyday everywhere, be it for business or to visit friends or simply to the park. We used to live in a shophouse in Shenton Way and there was this park near the Raffles Place of today. Normally, at the end of the day, to my Mom's horror, my attire would usually be dirty, sweaty, untidy with unkempt hair (how could an old man take care of a small kid?). Ah Gong and I were inseparable then ...... until he left when I was six.
He had wanted to visit his homeland, Kinmen. In my recollection, I could still remember that morning at the airport where we were to send him off. Just as he was going in, he turned around and waved goodbye to me, smiling ever so kindly. The 6-year-old me burst out crying. I did not know then that I would never see him ever again.
He had an heart attack while he was in Kinmen and died in his homeland. He was 69. He had a grand funeral there, but sadly, none of his immediate family were there. When his things were flown back to Singapore, inside his wallet was a small note which I had sent to him just a few days earlier. In all of my 6-year-old knowledge then, I wrote in English: "Grandpa, how are you?" and in Chinese, "公公, 你好吗? 我很想你." This tattered little piece of paper is still with me today.
At that time, we held a religious ceremony for him at my home. Shortly after, I had a dream. The scene was exactly the same ceremony at my house. I saw myself standing near the main door of my house during the ceremony. Everyone's heads were bent, listening to the chanting from the monk. Suddenly, right outside my door, I saw my Ah Gong standing there. He was waving at me and smiling his ever-so-kind smile. In merely a few seconds, he gave me a good-bye wave, turned around and walked away. The 6-year-old me was stunned. When I woke up, I slowly realised that Grandpa had appeared in my dream, he wanted to say good bye to me. It's a sign to me not to worry anymore, not to miss him anymore. Till this day, I can still remember that dream clearly. He will always be the Ah Gong I love.
My mom bought back from Kinmen and Taipei lots of snacks. The Taiwanese local products are numerous. They are famous for their pineapple cakes "Huang Li Su". My mom bought back many types and brands. My favourite is the pineapple cakes in clear plastic bag, which are vegetarian. There was also their version of mooncakes.
Also they are famous for their noodles, in chinese we call them "mian sian", in hokkien we call them "mee sua". Taiwan is famous for their oyster mee sua, which are oodles of noodles cooked in starchy soup with oysters and meat, with a dash of vinegar. Mom bought 3 different types of mee sua, one thin one, one even thinner one and one flat one. If you squint your eyes close enough, you can differentiate the 3. :p
Another interesting thing my mom brought back was the different types of fermented stuff, like fermented bean curd, fried gluten with peanuts in soy sauce, and hot bean paste. All these are what we sometimes take together with plain porridge. These stuff are available in Singapore but the ones mom bought tasted really different and they were nice.
Now I can be very mobile with the 8.9" Acer Aspire One. I can carry it around at work and outside meeting clients and at home. I would not want to lug around a heavy 12" 14" 15" laptop if I have to travel everyday from my home to timbaktu. And I don't have to use the huge 17" monitor and old CPU in the office anymore. This is just one of the working "tools" I need for me to work more efficiently. I hope my company knows that and be more flexible and more appreciative towards the efforts of the staff who are working hard. I know many companies tend to cut costs and to take advantage of their staff or try to be petty over the necessary tools that are being needed. For example, in order for a sales person to be able to meet more clients, the company should not bulk at the high travel expense claim at the end of the month. The company should just either compensate claim-as-you-incur or give a reasonable amount of transport allowance, and not nitpick at every single cent incurred. Look at the big picture, then only will your company succeed.
My parents went on their maiden trip to Kinmen, Taiwan, my paternal grandfather's homeland. My grandfather passed away in his homeland about 30 years ago when he went back for a visit. He suffered a heart attack there. My father has not been to Kinmen, so this trip was to pay respect to my grandfather's grave. They also visited our relatives there, viewed my grandfather family's properties there, which included some plots of land, row of shophouses as well as a few houses. The place is a safe and closely-knitted and the air was fresh. Many people or neighbours knew who my grandfather was, and even recognised my father (because he looked so much like my grandfather). According to my father, he said the government there takes care of those senior citizens who are above 65, and they get a monthly pension of Taiwan $6700, which was our equivalent of S$300. Hence there is no beggar in Kinmen.
Kinmen, also known as Quemoy, is a small island with a very big reputation. Situated just off the coast of Mainland China, Kinmen has been regarded as hallowed- almost sacred- ground by the people and government of the Republic of China. Until recently closed to outside visitors because of its status as an island fortress guarding against a continuing communist threat, Kinmen has recently been opened to tourism. The craggy island is made up primarily of granite, which at the highest point- Mt. Taiwu- rises 253 meters above sea level. This hill is the source of numerous streams that flow into reservoirs that supply water for the local population and beautify the landscape as well. Walls and moats were first constructed on the island as a defense against pirates and Japanese invaders in 1387, during the reign of Emperor Taitsu of the Ming dynasty. This earned Kinmen the name, by which it is still known today; literally "Golden Gate".
I suddenly have the craving for thai noodles. Tried their wanton noodles in a Bangkok wet market last time, and the taste was slightly different from that of Singapore's wanton noodles. The pork slices (char siew) was roasted unlike our red colour version. And the noodles was crunchy and Q, and not soggy at all. The dry or soup version were both equally nice. Notice the spoon the Thai use is stainless steel or metal, rather than our porcelain ones? My mom bought a dozen of the metal spoons back when she saw the Thais were using them, easier to scoop dishes.
Whenever I go Bangkok, another must-eat is their kway teow soup. I guess it was the sauces, pork balls, and their slim version of kway teow that was so smooth and made the soup very tasty - the heavenly combination. Especially those I tried at the floating market. I remember once I was cruising down the river towards my aunt's plantation in the outskirts of Bangkok. Along the way, we stopped the boat, and ordered kway teow soup from the hawker in the next boat. Their portion was small but very tasty. I wonder was it because of the ingredients in the dish or because the bowls were washed in the murky river, that made the kway teow soup extra tasty. -_-"
Suddenly at 7am, I am very hungry now thinking of kway teow soup when I should be sleeping......
Normally I do not like to give shopping vouchers to people as gifts, unless it is for corporate purpose or unless the recipient specifically asks for gift vouchers. If it's someone close to me, I would prefer to buy them a personal gift, something I know they need or something I know they will like. At least it shows I take the trouble to find the gift for them. At least it shows I am sincere about wanting to give that person a gift from the heart. Normally if it is someone close to me, I will search the shops till I find the gift. I know many people buy gift vouchers for convenience. I would rather the recipient tell me what he/she needs, then I will go find and buy the gift. The bottomline is, at least it shows my sincerity.
I normally do not like to listen to music which is some "live" concert. But one CD I have been listening live to ... is Bee Gee's One Night Only, recorded in their "live" concert. Although they are not quite "my era", but I like some of their famous songs which I played repeatedly for many years. I like this song, Our Love, which they sang 'with' their late brother Andy Gibb.
Maybe I don't wanna know the reason why But lately you don't talk to me And darlin’ I can't see me in your eyes
I hold you near, but you're so far away And it's losing you I can't believe To watch you leave and let this feeling die (You alone)You alone are the living thing that keeps me alive And tomorrow (tomorrow) if I'm here without your love You know I can't survive (Only my love)Only my love can raise you high above it all
Don't throw it all away, our love, our love. Don't throw it all away, our love. Don't throw it all away, our love, our love. Don't throw it all away, our love.
We can take the darkness and make it full of light But let your love flow back to me How can you leave and let this feeling die? (Happy room) This happy room would be a lonely place when you are gone (And I)And I won't even have your shoulder for the crying on (No other love) no other woman's love could be as true I'm begging you
Don't throw it all away, our love, our love Don't throw it all away, our love Don't throw it all away, our love, our love Don't throw it all away, our love
We changed the world we made it ours to hold but dreams are made for those who really try This losing you is real but I still feel you here inside
Don't throw it all away, our love, our love Don't throw it all away, our love(x6)
Jacob Ballas Children's Garden is Asia's first children's garden. Dedicated to all children of Singapore, it is designed to provide unique discovery and learning experiences in a garden setting.
Thought niece and nephew would be delighted to explore the place. The plants were interesting and highlighted with sign boards everywhere in the shape of the butterfly. And there were activities they could do. But unless kids are interested in nature, otherwise I think they would prefer their cartoon on TV and shopping compared to this garden. I think adults are more interested in this place. Verdict from kids: "Boring".
Some of the features of the Children’s Garden include:
Fantastic Forest – A forest of adventure where kids learn about the tropical rainforest as they explore the Tree House and Suspension Timber Bridge, play hide-and-seek around the gigantic trunk from a 100-year-old Pometia pinnata tree, huddle through the cave and Tunnel of Frangipani, learn about nutrient cycling and decomposition in the Mushroom Shelter, and get up-close with many unusual plants.
The Magic of Photosynthesis – An interactive exhibit where children discover photosynthesis and why this magical process is fundamental to all life on earth.
A-Maze-ing Play – A unique maze garden that changes configuration so that kids experience different twists and turns each time they visit the Garden.
Coffee, Tea or Chocolate – An introduction to plants that provide beverages like coffee, tea and hot chocolate.
The ‘Living’ Classrooms – Four classrooms where more intensive learning is encouraged. The classrooms are open for rental by schools who want to conduct nature education in a garden setting.
For more details, please kindly visit the Singapore Botanic Gardens website at http://www.sbg.org.sg or call 64717138 / 64717361.
Once in a very very very blue moon, I will cook, and even more so if it's Western food. Had the opportunity to because my parents are away for holiday. I had the assistance of an overly enthusiastic niece. So we had a fun time going to the supermart buying the stuff to prepare and cook. I bought slabs of chicken fillet, 2 types, one was already marinated, and the other I marinated it myself. Got some garlic bread. Got some shitake mushroom. Got some mixed veggies. Got some hash browns. And made some mushroom soup with additional shitake mushroom crumbs, which turned out quite good. And had some sparkling juice (kids were not allowed to drink red wine) to add to the occasion. While I was busy in the kitchen cooking up the storm, niece laid the table and apportion the food. I think overall the meal tasted ok... so-so (could be better), but looks-wise, it sure looked good. Heh!
Went to try the food from Ajitei, the Jap restaurant with niece and nephew. They recommended the Tofu Hamburger. It was fried tofu in the shape of a hamburger patty, minus the hamburger with spagetti and veggies, served in a hot plate . The portion was too little for an adult, although the Tofu patty was juicy enough, almost like a burger. The kids ordered kids meal with char siew ramen and prawn tempura and egg. The salmon sashimi is a must for niece everytime in a Jap restaurant. We also tried the dessert with green tea ice cream, peach, macha, red bean and jelly. I like the green tea mochi macha which was coated generously with green tea powder. It was a little too bitter for the kids' liking. I also had a good time sipping the plum sake soda, which was niceeeeee.
Drove across the causeway to JB, Malaysia, last Saturday. My sis family all made a pair of spectacles each. So I also bought one as well. It was quite cheap compared to what we had to pay in Singapore. I chose for myself a beige brown pair of spectacles at RM 218 (lens + frame), the frame costs RM260 with 40% discount, and lens about RM 150 and plus some more discounts, the total was equivalent to S$90+ !! So much cost savings, compared to the red pair I bought a few months ago, which cost me S$300++. That's why I bought an extra pair, just in case. The next time I need new glasses, I will head down JB again.
I took this picture of the Singapore Flyer when I was passing through the Benjamin Sheares Bridge the other day. It was raining heavily and the skies were dark. Such a melancholic mood as both looked almost like a black and white photo. These are the times I wish I was home in my bed, dreaming... flying away...
I tried the Leong Kee (Klang) Bak Kut Teh at Geylang Lorong 23. It is the Bak Kut Teh we know so well from Malaysia, the strong herbal type instead of our local peppery type. It has ingredients like the pork ribs, beancurd skin, intestines, and the side dishes like youtiao, braised peanuts, taupok (fried beancurd) and salty vegetables. I like this strong herbal soup, the pork ribs meat is very tender. All goes well with plain rice. I satisfied my craving for this soup which we called "Johore bak kut teh". The photos courtesy of Camemberu
Captured this today, as I was caught in the heavy rain. The skies were so dark. So melancholic. Made me sad and emotional. Anyway I just did something today which made me even sadder ... did a parting and sort of good bye to something that is bothering me. So finally I just need to get the "ritual" done. Delete. Erased. Cancelled. Blocked out. The end. No point keeping the residue with me when it means nothing anymore. I heard the saying "time will prove everything" but I think I lost the battle. I abhor this rat year. Can't wait for the bull to come, head on. 
