Silly revelations

1. I just discovered I have greyish brown eyes. I thought I had dark brown eyes. I do have double eyelids, just that sometimes they went into hiding, depending on mood. Next time when I am older, if my eyes begin to droop or get puffy or wrinkled, I will go and get them fixed.

2. Nowadays I am seldom on MSN. I am on invisible mode, so that I do not need to entertain mindless chit chat. Unless I need to chat with someone to fix an appointment, then I go online. Since the last time I discovered I was being blocked by a close friend, and she was chatting freely with everybody else, I had since lost interest to MSN with anybody - be it close or not-so-close friends.

3. As humans, I discovered that we are very affected by stuff and people around us, so much so we lose our own self sometimes. What people say or do, affected us so badly that it follows us into the future and become an unhappy past. We must learn to let go of the baggage and take on a different perspective, so that we can be happier.

4. I have learnt that we must be kind to people, especially those we love. But we must never have the expectations that people will in turn react and respond in the same way. Sometimes those we love do not behave the same way, and we get affected. I am learning to be coolly-detached yet remotely connected.

5. I am glad I broke record for not buying a new bag in 6 months. Bags are my fetish, although I do not buy bags that are very expensive or branded, all below $250. The most expensive bag I ever bought, the zip was spoilt within a few weeks. Once I bought a CK bag for a friend as a farewell and thank-you gift. It was the most expensive bag I ever bought for someone, almost $200, (it was not the most expensive gift I ever bough, it was the most expensive bag I bought as a gift) and I did not even know if it was being appreciated or being used. I guess I need to thank my friend for making me realise I was so silly.

6. Once upon a time, I was very upset when an ex-staff quitted. We were close as a team, and had expected her to tell me even before she accepted the offer. I was upset because she just threw in the letter, giving me no chance to counter-offer. I understand we need to climb the career ladder and when there is a good offer, staff will leave. I understand all that. What I was upset was she did not considered my feelings, especially since we were close as friends. I had fought so hard for her pay rise and more learning opportunities with my boss.

7. Thinking back, I realised there were a handful of people who would have given me a fantastic opportunity or two, or given me a boost of confidence in achieving something, or given me a windfall. However, I rejected them or I did not bother or I had different priorities then. My life would have been very different if I had taken up their offer. You win some, you lose some.

8. Some people I met, somehow things seemed to happen, or we have some conflict here and there. Normally when I checked their bazi, there must be some clash somewhere. I have a buddy who is my closest friend. We do not go out often but somehow when we do, or when we sms or email, there is sure to be conflict, making both of us frustrated sometimes (but I am glad we are still best of friends). Those we think we could not get along with, we can still avoid. But I wonder how, if those who has bazi conflict with you, happened to be your husband, or parents or children, or someone you really really really like?

9. I do still believe life can be happily ever after. How you make it happy, is entirely up to you. I may be a late bloomer or I have not achieved anything spectacular compared to social norms, but I am not resigning myself to fate. I believe I can still do something useful and achieve something worthy before I die. And how 'worthy' that something is, is based on my standard, not others. I do not believe in "game over". I believe in standing up again and fighting for my dreams till the last breath.