For your immediate attention

This came in to my letterbox today. My father who usually opened the letterbox, retrieved my mails. When he entered the house, he quickly showed this to my Mom and both whispered between themselves. Just then, I came out and saw them. My mom said I got mails hesitantly. I thought what was the problem that was so hush-hush.

I saw the boxed message "NOTICE OF SUMMONS ENCLOSED", followed by "For Your Immediate Attention". When I saw the envelope was from Robinsons, I said "aiyah, chey". I told them it was probably some gimmicks from Robinsons lah. When I opened the envelope, the letter has another boxed message "THIS IS A DETENTION ORDER". Adoi.

My parents are like that. They still belonged to the era of black and white. So if any government agency, any ministry, any bank, or any institution sent any official letters, they got so nervous and overwhelmed. Much worse if the wordings were "cold and harsh". As if they had committed a crime. My father had probably thought it was a letter from the lawyer issuing me summons and chasing me for payment or something similar. And they actually did not want to let me know.

I am so used to all these marketing gimmicks. It was the advertisers' way of enticing you to open the envelope to discover their great deals, that's all. I myself, had been guilty of conjuring such slogans, taglines some time. But those were meant for corporate clients. I see no need for advertisers to resort to these measures to lure consumers. Consumers, laymen, would be happy enough if you enclosed some discount vouchers or free stuff. If advertisers offered anything "too good to be true", rest assured the public would be queueing up before your doors opened.

So, please, Robinsons, next time don't send me such harsh mails. I have a lot of explaining to do, you know. Just email me, ok?