The Angel

Last day of the year. To those finding comfort, I can't help but remember Sarah McLachlan's soothing song "Angel"

"In the arms of an angel

fly away from here

from this dark cold hotel room

and the endlessness that you fear

you are pulled from the wreckage

of your silent reverie

you're in the arms of the angel

may you find some comfort there..."

Titanic vs Tsunami - A tip of the iceberg?

In 1912, the world was stunned by the sinking of the Titanic, drowning 1500 passengers. Now on hindsight, was that merely just a tip of the iceberg?

In 2004 today, almost 100 years later, the world mourns the 144,000 victims (and still counting) who have succumbed to the wrath of the Tsunami tragedy.

The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand. Although I can't understand the mysteries of Life, my heart tells me we've got to be mindful of our actions. A single minor act alone can result in a 100-fold repercussion, be it euphoric or catastrophic. Stay blessed.

Sweetish memory

My Gong Gong (Mom's dad) passed away when I was only 2. Yet I can still remember something about him. That scene seemed so far away now, yet remained vividly etched in my memory.

I remember myself as a 2-year-old toddler at Gong Gong's huge attap house, playing, wandering about. Walking towards Gong Gong's bedroom, I flung open the curtain at the door. He was lying on a huge huge antique bed. He was bedridden, having had his leg amputated due to advanced stage of diabetes.

I remember his broad high forehead glistened with sweat, his normally huges eyes very tired. I remember him waving his hand weakly, beckoning me towards him. I remember myself climbing, tumbling, struggling up a step at the bedroom door. And when I finally reached the bedside, I remember him putting a sweet on my small chubby palm... and a feeble smile. That's all. That was the one and only recollection I have of my Gong Gong. I can't say that I miss him because I was still so tiny then. All I can say is, I still remember that scene....

Anyway, Gong Gong died at the age of 49. Damn young!

Kirins

A few weeks ago, I had a dream. It was a looooong dream. Somehow I can't recall anything that happened in the beginning. I only remembered the ending.

There was this Invisible Force that was so strong and powerful that it pushed me, shook me, punched me and drew me up in the air, pinned me by the neck and rendered me utterly helpless. And immediately 4 fiery red kirins appeared! In Chinese, they are called "麒麟".

The 4 creatures looked so real, with dragons heads and scarlet red scaly bodies. They were growling at the Invisible Force, ready to charge at It. Yet somehow I felt they wouldn't do me harm. They were smiling at me while growling at the Invisible Force. Perhaps they were protecting me.

I woke with a start. I wondered what was the hidden meaning behind this dream, how was I to interpret this dream. I scrambled online to find some answers.

A kirin, I learnt, is a mythical hooved Chinese creature that is said to appear in conjunction with the arrival of a sage. It is a good omen that brings serenity and prosperity. It is often depicted with what looks like fire all over its body. Although it looks fearsome, the kirin only punishes sinners. It can walk on grass and yet not trample the blades and it can also walk on water. The kirin depicts a creature with the head of a Dragon, the antlers of a deer, the skin and scales of a fish, the hooves of an ox and the tail of a lion. And I dreamt of all 4 of them.

A check with my Master revealed not so comforting news. She believed it's a representation of bad "chi" (energy) embedded inside me, which should be cleared off.

Perhaps she was right. Yet I still chose to believe the kirins were helping me. It's the Invisible Force which was after me. Those kirins were just protecting me from harm. Thanks, kirins.

The Object of My Affection

This was written many years ago for a friend who had just ended a painful relationship. Copyrights by Yours Truly. *** This is a purely fictional encounter and any similiarity to actual persons, living or dead, or events is purely coincidental
The day you and I fell in love
The day my Levi's became my possession
That day we stumbled upon each other
That day my eyes laid upon my Levi's
That day you said "nice",
That day I bought my Levi's.

Never before a "hi" sent me to such heavenly bliss
Never before a gentleness touched me to the core
Your calm, quiet dignified air was assuring comfort
Your smile filled me with emotions run deep
That day we met,
That day we've fallen in love.

Never before an object got me so excited
Never before an object feel so soft yet so rugged
Its worn-out attitude spoke of a mysterious past
Its 70s cut and style suit the nostalgic me
That day we've fallen in love
That day I've fallen in love with my 2nd-hand Levi's too.

My Levi's became my prized possession
My Levi's followed me everywhere I go
You bought me many others
I never really bothered about them
You couldn't fathom my objection
I never really told you why.

That day my Levi's became "unwearable"
That day its tattered tears were a pitiful sight
That same day we quarrelled
That same day you were unbearable
I'd always knew you were the one for me
I never did asked you if I was the one for you.

That day you left, I was a pitiful sight.
I felt as abandoned and torn as my Levi's.
The day you left, you left me with this old adage,
"If you love something, let it go,
if it comes back to you, it's yours
if it doesn't, it never was."

That day you left, laid on my bed was my Levi's
Stitch by stitch, its tears and ravishes were delicately sewn
That day you left, a note laid on top of my Levi's
This Levi's symbolises our times together
Its smell I would never forget, it's your smell
With your smell, I leave my touch."

My Levi's no longer has a mysterious past
My Levi's has a new life now, a new beginning
My Levi's now holds OUR past
My Levi's is now OUR object of affection.
I know you are still the one for me
Am I still the one for you?

This was written long ago, for a friend. How have you been, my friend?

What exactly do you want?

I have a friend. She's my long time friend, since almost 3 decades ago. So I've known her ever since I started school. Well, we grew up and eventually went our own ways (don't get me wrong, we are still in contact, just maybe meet up once or twice a year, or less). Technically, she's still one of my closest friends. Not that I have many close friends, so to speak.

She grew up to be a very traditional girl indeed, but perhaps bordering along the lines of too conservative (to me). She's a filial, a typical hard-working Chinese girl who supports her family, splurges on them but scrimps and saves like there's no tomorrow. She deserves better. I always think that. I always said that. I always meant that.

She's a workaholic, by Singapore's hard-working standards. Or maybe among us friends. She stays in her company for years. Day in day out, she complains about work. Her huge responsibilities, her desires to go on holidays, her wishes to leave the company. I always told her "go ahead, what's stopping you?" Then she will blurt out 1001 reasons why she should not. Even mentioned the huge benefits from the company if she stays till retirement. Gosh..........she's only in her 30s.

The occasional SMSs and emails I get from her, they're always about work, how she loathes work, how she loathes her bosses, how she loathes this society, how she loathes the behaviour of her colleagues, how she loathes the behaviour of her friends, how she loathes the behaviour of her relatives, how she loathes this world etc... Believe me, I've been shot big blows and blows of PESSIMISM that I've ever wished for in my entire life! I'm sympathetic about her situation, yes. Because she is a dear friend. My question is, why doesn't she do something about it? Rather than complaining non-stop.

Case in point. In the middle of enjoying a Ben Stiller comedy, I got an SMS from her.... once again her desires to take leave, go on holidays. My reply "why don't you just take a few days break? what can your boss do to you if you insist?" She lambasted me another SMS, saying how can I say such "irresponsible things, it's her responsibilities, her workload blah blah blah blah blah. I was like.....excuse me?? What exactly do you want? If you don't wish to take leave, then don't keep saying you wish to, but never meant to, and then end up feeling frustrated and lousy. And if you wish to take leave, then don't keep saying you can't, because why can't you? You're not in prison, for heaven's sake.

I just want my friend to be happy and be the bright-eyed girl that I used to know on my first day of school. I just want her to do exactly what she wants to do. What exactly do you want, my friend?

Dry start

Christmas leaves one high and dry. Not from drinking and partying. It's the anti-climax of an event in the whole year. It's when you realise, so this is it. End of the year. Christmas. New Year. New start? The new start of another anti-climaxing year next.

It's a dry start, really.

Exactly what gift/s was I expecting anyway. They say, the joy of Christmas is giving. Yes, giving. Instead of receiving. So I gladly give. The ritual of shopping for someone dear, it's worth all the disappointments the occasion brings.

Yes, giving is better. I was told...when you give, all the immense good luck will come to you. Like when I give someone a treat, all the luck will goes back to me. So why is everybody dying to be treated? to be given a present? and have all their luck driven away. Tsk tsk.

So, please give.

Why LOL8?

This is STUMPBO. Why this nick? I am often "stumped" by things happening around me, often to the heights of stupefied stupor. So yes, I am STUMPed. What is BO? It's as in Dumbo, STUMPBO? And if you notice it's in CAPS....yes, I mean real business (being stumped).


Why LOL8? This is the Life of Lopsided 8. I've decided it's gonna be all about me and the tiny bits in my life. Why "lopsided 8"? Number 8 in Chinese is "to prosper" and all things nice and auspicious! Why lopsided? No matter how lopsided you tilt and turn number 8, it's still 8. So hopefully, no matter how lopsided my life gets, I'll be still safe and sound in the hands of this Universe.


BTW, Merry Christmas. My blog is born on Christmas day.