Time out - Parable of the Dustbin with a hole

This morning I overslept till quite quite late. I woke up just before noon. I vaguely remembered I woke up around 8am as I usually do, and I remembered telling myself just 5 more minutes, and I did not even know I had gone back to sleep. Luckily I had no urgent meetings today.

I did not know what got into me. One moment I was so sleep-deprived that I slept and slept, and the next, I was suffering from insomnia that I did everything but sleep. I wonder if my state of mind or state of well-being is ok at the moment.

I listened to Ajahn Brahm's teaching about Inter-connectedness. Here is the gist of it, simplified by me.

What we do will always cause ripples in the water, our good or bad actions will affect others, even strangers. What we do affect others because we care for each other and not just caring for ourselves. Hence we should strive not to harm people. We are not alone in this world. People, even strangers, who cares about you, will react when they see you in pain. The world never laughs at you, it only laugh WITH you.

Hence we should never underestimate the little words of kindness we said or what others said. Offer a word of kindness even to strangers, to people who need our help and it may change their life forever. By doing this, we can change the environment in our state of mind.

On the other hand, because we are all affected by each other, we are all inter-connected. Sometimes being too connected, or too attached to something, can upset you and waste alot of energy. Whether to stay connected or to cut that connection when need be, is all within your control, within your power to do so.

It is important that we know how to disconnect, and when to shout "time out". Time out means we do not need to be too concerned about other people's doings or sayings. It is a realisation to know that we can disconnect.

In Buddhist term, "disconnect" refers to "detached". When we think of "detached", we think "cold-hearted", but this is not so. When we disconnect or be detached, we take time off, to be alone, to take responsibility for our own happiness. We should not allow others to control our own happiness. For instance, if I get upset or angry, does it really help me, does it help others too?

We have to know that sometimes, we can be happy, or we can be unhappy, and this is life. We should not allow the ups and downs of life to affect our moods, to upset our inner being.

When we try to disconnect any upsetting issue or disappointment in life, sometimes it is hard, especially if they are issues close to your heart. But then again, what can be closer to your heart than your own body, your own state of mind? How do we disconnect with our body?

We should never allow, for example, sickness to affect your mind. Although the body is sick, your mind need not be sick. If you do not know how or when to disconnect, you are like a balloon, you will get blown around, you will feel overwhelmed. So it is good to be detached from time to time.

How many of us carry our past with us? Do we remember all the disappointment and hurt of the past and carry them with us. Are we able to let go? There is no need to be punished or be hurt by our past. And the beauty is, the realisation of knowing actually you can let go and disconnect from your history. Why allow ourselves to be hurt when we deserve to be happy and successful in the present. Being a prisoner of the past can impede or stop our growth to be successful / happy.

The same goes to the future. We can disconnect from the future as well, and stay in the present. We can be a good listener, be a counsellor, be a friend. Imagine yourself as a dustbin. You can be there for others listening to them, and be kind to them. However, we must ensure the dustbin in us, has a hole at the bottom. We can be a dustbin for others, connect with others to allow them to put their problems into our dustbin, and the hole at the bottom ensures you can disconnect afterwards. In that way, we can be more caring. If there is no hole in the dustbin, you will get filled up, you will feel full of people's problems, without knowing how to let go. Having the hole, we give ourselves more strength, more space, more power, take time out, so that we can be more compassionate. We do not get burnt out or overwhelmed. We do not carry our own problems and others' problems around. We can disconnect so that we can recharge with more energy, and in turn help others.

Hence, we are all interconnected, we can let go and be detached. In a sense, we are helping each other to let go.