Thursday, 25 March 2010

That difference

I have a very bad habit. That is, when I befriend people, I become over-zealous in their problems, if and when they confide in me. Most friends will usually tell me the problems they face, from family matters to financial matters to job matters to BGR problems to whatever problems.  Some problems can be resolved easily and some are really tricky that I don't have the answers too. I know from the bottom of my heart, I do feel for them and some of their problems, and I usually do insist in giving some advice, maybe sometimes too fervently such that some of these friends feel I am intruding into their privacy afterwards. Hence, this leads to lots of misunderstandings from the very people I was trying to help. Depending on their age, I do try to go slow nowadays. I don't want to be seen as someone too pushy, too 'kaypoh' when people do not seem to welcome advice /comments. One or two even resented it. They just want a listening ear, someone to rant to, someone to just let them air their grievances to. They just want an outlet, but not prepared to receive input. I know they resent it from their reactions, their actions and the words they used.

Sometimes, through some mystical ways, I actually know what problems /consequences these friends are facing or will encounter in the near future, even though they pay no heed to my advice at that very moment. Hence, I appear to be somewhat too insistent on what they should do and not do. Even when at times I do not bear to tell them the truth what may happened. So they became pissed with me. One even refused to be friends anymore. But through my experiences over the years (I have seen many times), what I had expected would happen, it really happened. I hate to say it, but I always end up muttering to myself "See, I told you so" but I have no heart to rub salt on the wound by then. 

Those people who eventually resent me or met with the problems I knew they would, by then it was too late. So for them, I would just have to say a prayer for them. I would light a candle for them and their names would always be in my prayer dedication list because the only way I can help is to help them to purify their negative karma, to increase their merits, so that the obstacles they are experiencing would hopefully be eradicated. I am not the Budhha or God, I may not be able to help much, but that is the only thing I can do for them (and I am darn confident my prayers help). To friends who need help, I hope they recognise their problems and seek professional help if necessary. You can resent me, but ultimately please help yourself to help you, not me.

"Happiness never decreases by being shared" - The Buddha

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