|Last day of 2012 was rainy and windy|
Looking back at 2012, I would say it was my recovery year. When we had a fall, the only thing is to get up, stand and walk again. How long we take to stand up is another matter. But at least, we did.
I am not one who like to look at the past and mope over the unhappy stuff. I would just like to remember the people and events which had made an impact in my life.
Last night, most people were enjoying, celebrating and waiting for countdown. I was invited by some friends to join in for drinks and to watch the fireworks which I declined. I knew the agenda was to have mindless fun and drink drink drink and maybe get drunk. In an earlier occasion, I was encouraged to drink. While the others got drunk or gleefully high, I was still very sober. They had thought I could not handle liquor. In actual fact, it was not that I cannot drink. It was that I always chose not to drink. Once in a blue moon, it was ok and I would sit back, drink and watch others get seriously drunk. Hehehe.
Instead, on New Year's Eve, I had a little gathering with a few nice friends and left quite early. At midnight I welcomed the new year listening to someone sharing and teaching a little Dharma. (We need not be surrounded by a huge crowd in order to be happy. We can be just as happy spending time with only one person or alone). I told the person, despite the ups and downs, I had been very happy the entire 2012. This is because I had surrounded myself with virtuous friends and did plenty of meaningful meritorious activities. I might not have done things with a big bang, but I had the opportunities to know and to help each individual better, just as many others had helped me too. A friend called me a "strategist", because most times, I know what the other party is thinking and I would know how to maneuver my way, by listening and to 'help' the person. So, planning and 'strategising' may not sound that bad when the party concerned can benefit in the process. Hurray!
In 2012 alone, I had seen suffering in others and myself, and came to realise and understand the effect of cause and condition better. I had seen friends being sick, struggling with pain, and some passing on. Even young people can die suddenly. Even high masters are also vulnerable to accidents. Death can come anytime, even though we think we are still young. Such is the way things are - the cycle of cyclic existence. As long as we do not do anything to cease this suffering, we would still be reborn again and again to suffer. So what is dying when one will be born again? We will still come back in another body and flesh, and to continue the suffering.
Bread and butter aside, even though I may not be the richest person in terms of physical wealth, I had been very happy and busy helping others. And that in turns made me very happy. I am spiritually wealthy and happy. And I would like to keep to this mode for the rest of my life.
Let's move on to achieving better realisations in 2013.