Past, Present, Future Me

Procrastinate less.

Complain less.

Work is already completed.

Why me?

The late H.H. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche gave this advice:

"You will fall sick, experience pain, and encounter many adverse circumstances. At such times do not think, 'Although I am practicing the Dharma, I have nothing but trouble. The Dharma cannot be so great. I have followed a teacher and done so much practice, and yet hard times still befall me.' Such thoughts are wrong views. You should realize that through the blessing and power of the practice, by experiencing sickness and other difficulties now, you are purifying and ridding yourself of negative actions.... By purifying them while you have the chance, you will later go from bliss to bliss. So do not think, 'I don't deserve this illness, these obstacles, these negative influences.' Experience your difficulties as blessings...when you do experience such difficulties, you should be very happy and avoid having adverse thoughts like, 'Why are such terrible things happening to me.'"

As Rinpoche advises, relating to hardship properly depends on the strength of one's view. In general, having a view is knowing exactly where you want to go and how to get there. It is the vision of knowing what you want. For example, if you have the view to become a doctor, your vision guides you through financial burdens, physical and emotional difficulties, and obstacles that get in your way. You know it will be difficult and involve sacrifice, but with a strong view, you forge to the finish line.

Similarly, if you want to become spiritually awakened, it is the power of your view that gets you there. If you are having a hard time getting to the meditation cushion, or engaging in the necessary study, it is because your view is not strong enough or is incomplete. A partial view, in this case, is one that doesn't include hardship. You can strengthen your view and accelerate progress by understanding how you lose your view in the fog of hardship, and therefore lose sight of your path.

--from The Power and the Pain: Transforming Spiritual Hardship into Joy by Dr. Andrew Holecek, published by Snow Lion Publications

Quote of the day - Boomerang

"The game of life is the game of boomerangs.

Our thoughts, deeds, and words,

return to us sooner or later,

with astounding accuracy.

- Florence Scovel Shinn

Dang. Don't get hit.

Filial piety is free, no?

Many of you may have watched the recent TV ad launched by The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) on "Filial Piety". The objective of this campaign in gist is to promote filial piety, urging Singaporeans to lead by example if they want the next generation to care for them when they grow old.

A somewhat touching effort, but I was appalled that MCYS actually spent S$1.6 million to produce this ad, and by engaging a Hong Kong director, David Tsui, to do it. What happened to promoting local talents? Morever, couldn't this huge amount of money (from tax payers) be better channeled elsewhere, for example, to the old, sick and needy who may not have filial children to take care of them?

Bloggers furrybrowndog and thinkingbetterthinkingmeta have posted entries on this which are worth a read.

The Online Citizen (TOC) spinned off another take on the Filial Piety ad, the "What was not shown" version, with this :

And TOC quoted the Minister: “If you were a poor person, anywhere on this planet, Singapore is the one place where you will have a roof over your head, where you will have food on the table. Even if you can’t afford it, we will have meals delivered to you…” – MCYS Minister, Vivian Balakrishnan. (27 March 2010)

Reality or jokes aside, again, it is not that the subject ('Filial piety") should not be broached, but rather the method of promoting it (extravagant spending and somewhat unrealistic stereotyping) is questionable.

In Confucian ideals, filial piety (in Chinese 孝) is one of the virtues to be held above all else: a respect for the parents and ancestors.

Generally speaking, according to Wikipedia, filial piety means:
1. Being good to one's parents;
2. To take care of one's parents;
3. To engage in good conduct not just towards parents but also outside the home so as to bring a good name to one's parents and ancestors;
4. To perform the duties of one's job well so as to obtain the material means to support parents as well as carry out sacrifices to the ancestors;
5. Not be rebellious; show love, respect and support;
6. Display courtesy;
7. Ensure male heirs, uphold fraternity among brothers;
8. Wisely advise one's parents, including dissuading them from moral unrighteousness;
9. Display sorrow for their sickness and death;
10. Carry out sacrifices after their death.

Erm... I do not entirely agree with all the points if they are what define filial piety. Obviously, times have changed. While I agree with points 1 to 6, they are common sense, and how we should treat everyone in general, what more to our parents?

However, I do not agree with point (7). One can have 10 sons yet none of them are filial, and having daughters can be equally filial (if not more!). And points (9) and (10), I am not sure what they mean by "displaying sorrow", but whilst we will and do feel sad with our parents' illnesses and death, who are we trying to 'show off' our sorrow to? The Buddhist teachings have taught me, instead of being sad, we should be doing good deeds and creating merits on behalf of our parents while they are still alive, so that they can have a precious human rebirth in their next life. Why? So that hopefully they can have the chance to learn the Dharma and thus be enlightened. We do not have the ability to learn the Dharma if we are reborn as animals. So dedicating our merits to our parents is a gift which can be brought with them after death. This, to me, is filial piety, on top of other material wants.

Lest I sound too righteous, no, I am not filial enough, or at all, based on the above points. I am not filial in the sense I am still not able to provide much material comforts to my parents. And I still lose my temper, especially to my father, when we do not see eye to eye, or when he screws up his computer for the umpteenth time. And I can often be stubborn, refusing to listen to my parents' advice. I think being able to forgive one another goes both ways, and I have a long way to learn.

Long ago, a nun gave me a piece of hardcopy, When I Turn Old 当我老了 and she said to read it on and off to remind myself of 'filial piety'. When I read it, tears just welled up. Found this in Youtube...

Found another clip and I think this is so much more touching and more meaningful than the MCYS ad. Here it is.... and it's free.

Fatty Weng's Hor Fun

Sometimes I ta-pau (takeaway) these.

One of the more famous Hor Fun around, from Fatty Weng. This is a packet of fried Hor Fun (they use thin kway teow) wrapped with Opeh Leaf. Very old school. You need to spread some newspapers or serviettes underneath before you open because it is very wet with lots of the gravy.

Opened, these were the Hor Fun and Bee Hoon, both using the same ingredients but so different taste altogether. With the opeh leaf, it somehow enhances the flavour and taste of both Hor Fun and Bee Hoon which was stir fried wet and inviting and very dark in colour.

A closer look at the Hor Fun. The ingredients they used are slightly different from the usual seafood items. Besides prawns and fish cake and veg (cai sim), they also use pork slices, pork liver and skin. I like it with lots of green chilli.

If you want the flavour of the Opeh leaf to be really absorbed into the Hor Fun, leave the packet unopened for a little while longer.

I like their Fried Bee Hoon which is also very delectably shiok.

Here are the men in the kitchen, they have 2-3 main chefs, and the other are assistants, preparing and apportioning the ingredients for each packet of food. There are at any one time, 7-8 people in this kitchen.

This photo of Fatty Weng shop front is taken from lovesingaporefood.  Although the Hor Fun does not come cheap ($5 to $7 per packet) compared to the usual $3, it has its unique taste and wok hei. I have eaten in this place a few times, but mostly I takeaway Hor Fun or Bee Hoon just because only the takeaway food is wrapped in the Opeh leaf. Do give them a try if you're nearby.

Fatty Weng Restaurant
94, Guillemard Road

Singapore 399717. 

Is civic-mindedness dead? Ugly Singaporeans again....

The other night it was quite late when I took a bus home. When I got onto the bus, I was a little surprised to see the design of the seats and layout of the bus.

All the bus seats were different from the usual seats. There are individual armchair seats, and an U-shape sofa lookalike seats, and even high chairs with a counter! Seemed like a luxury bus, and I wonder how many seats  compared to the norm.

Went online to search for pictures of this bus seats.... and guess what, I found them from a blog posted by an overseas blogger way back in Oct 2007!!!  Now how did he know that when many locals have not even seen buses with such seats even in 2010?!

They looked more like chairs for a conference room...

The lounge-like sofa seats....

The U-shaped seats at the back of the bus...

And..... high chairs with a counter! Looks like a bar counter? 

So, how many of you have taken a ride on these buses in Singapore before?

I also saw the interior of this bus from the internet, somewhere in Milwaukee. This is a 26-passenger Luxury Bus which is used for special events like weddings and sporting events or corporate functions. Maybe one day, SBS or SMRT or competitors will provide comfy seats for their public buses.   

But do you think Singaporeans are civic minded enough to take care of such 'luxury' public property if given a chance to? I think not.....

Got the followings from STOMP. Look at how our fellow Singaporeans made full use of our public transport by making themselves very comfortable indeed.

I hope his feet and shoes didn't stink...

This aunty occupied 2 seats! 

Couples like the seats at the back for cuddling and kisses and hanky panky business...

 
This joker didn't even bothered taking off his shoes?!

His feet and plastic bag "chope" (local slang for 'reserve') the extra seat... who else still dare to sit on it?

Legs wide open and as high as possible. This is not your bedroom, Mr Samy.

Now you know why the bus companies do away with 2-seater seats on some buses.... and let people stand instead!

Again, the back seats are way too comfy to make out? Maybe bus companies should consider installing couple seats aka cinema style. 

Schools, take note that your students don't do this!

The bus is also a place to feed your kid?  I almost wished I found a photo of a mommy who is breastfeeding her baby onboard!

If locals can't be bothered (to take care of public property), would our foreign friends bother too?

Airing your dirty laundry in public, literally??!!!  This aunty decided her socks need to dry before she reaches her destination. -__-"

And this one takes the cake.... this man decided Singapore is way too hot to wear anything on the bus.

With jokers like the above, do you think we are ready to have even more luxurious public buses?

The awakening of a non-Buddhist

Over the years I have received feedback from readers who came across my blog and enjoyed reading some of my posts. These readers, both Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike, especially enjoyed reading those entries which are related to Buddhism or Tibetan Buddhism.

Long ago I posted an entry on Tara, and also embedded Tara's mantra from Youtube, sang so beautifully by Ani Choying Drolma. Tara is a female Buddha in Vajrayana Buddhism who is able to fulfill all the wishes of beings. Tara is the manifestation of the compassion of all the Buddhas of the three times. She is also the goddess who carries out and accomplishes the enlightened activities of the Buddhas.

A week ago, a reader, R, commented on this Tara entry: "Don't know why but I teared up very badly when I heard the Tara mantra sang by Ani Choying Drolma. I don't understand the context but something inside me was very deeply moved. Thank you for posting."

I replied R: "Thanks for listening to Tara's mantra! You may have some connection with Tara. Please do get to know Tara, she is known to eliminate obstacles swiftly. May you be blessed by Tara".

Then 2 nights ago, R sent me an email. I was so touched after reading her email  that I obtained her permission to publish the contents here (excluding some parts which are confidential):

"Hi STUMPBO,

I am the same person who left the comment about the Tara mantra. Just to give you a little background about myself - I have been attending Sunday school since young, a Christian secondary school and have been a Christian for more than 30 years. In the past year, I have felt an unrest in my heart - I don't know exactly how to describe it but it's like a calling to find something else, to search for something, someone who's there for me. I also don't know why but I was compelled to go to your blog.

This is the strangest thing. I had known your blog through another blogger, and had only commented once or twice in your blog. But I felt a very strong compulsion to visit your blog and to click on your Buddhism tag. And I read through all your posts on Buddhism, regardless whether I understood the Dharma terms or not. And like I told you, I heard the Tara mantra for the first time and without knowing the words or understanding why, I not only teared up but started sobbing very badly. I do not know why too. Following your comment to know Tara, I started to read up extensively (but not enough!) about Tibetan Buddhism and Dharma teachings. And I have found answers to many questions I had been pondering over for the longest time. I also found an inner peace and happiness that I have not experienced in a long time. I had been indulging in lots of material comforts and luxuries but nothing seem to satisfy after a while. I would be thrilled for a while and then I would be extremely dissatisfied and bored, looking for the next high. This is an extremely disruptive cycle of unrest and samsara in itself. Not to disrespect the bible or Christian teaching, I do not feel the same inner peace, much less happiness. Indeed, I would in fact be angry after attending church!

Sorry to write such a long winded email to you but I just wanted to give you some background before I thank you.

Thank you very much for your efforts and sincerity in writing about your experiences and learning of the Dharma. I am deeply appreciative of your generous and unselfish sharing which had brought immeasurable peace, a peace that I had not felt for a very long time. Following your blogging about the grand pujas by Dro-Phen Ling, I also attended the three day event, which had blessed my family with great merits, karma purifications, health, wealth and wisdom blessings. I had learnt even more during these three days. I felt very touched by Dagyab Kyabgon Rinpoche, who never fail to fill me with immense warmth with his kind gaze and wise eyes. Sometimes when he looks directly into my eyes, I feel a very indescribable disquiet yet warmth. During the Chenrezig empowerment on the last day, we queued up as usual to get blessings from Rinpoche. He touched my head and placed a bag of herbal beads into my hands. It is just so.... filled with warmth, kindness and compassion.

I also wanted to tell you that although I do not know who you are, I view you in my heart as my Dharma friend and I am most grateful to you for being the person who is the bridge to Dharma teachings, which is more precious than even the Hermes Birkin (that my samsaric heart still hankers over, lol). During the merit dedications and prayer dedications, I actually prayed in my heart for merits to be dedicated to you - I actually went "to the lol8 blogger/ stumpbo....". May you be blessed with many merits, bliss, good health, prosperity and Enlightenment!  I think you are doing a very good thing with your blog which I hope will reach even more people who have the Dharma seed in their hearts just waiting for the right moment to flower. Om mani padme hum!"

Truly, I have not been so touched before. I replied R that our plight and experiences are pretty much similar. Like R, it was like a calling for me to search for some meaning in life. It just clicked and it felt so right when I met my root guru, Lama Zopa Rinpoche, that tears just came, uncontrollably. This is not an uncommon phenomenon with many Buddhists I know. It was like an awakening, the seed which has been planted from previous lifetimes between the master and student. Hence in this life when we meet the same master again, it is like a reunion, with tears of joy. And when we achieve realisations, it is due to the kindness of our gurus' teachings. The great masters have been taking rebirth again and again to help us till we gain enlightenment. In Buddhism, everything is interconnected, and I believe if you have the affinity with the Buddhas, something in you will be awakened, when the time is right. I cannot explain this feeling, but one will have to experience it to know what I mean.

R's reaction to hearing Tara's mantra is definitely an affirmation that she has a connection with Mother Tara or the Buddhas. I am so happy for R that many of her questions to her problems, she has found in the Dharma, in such an unbelievably short time. In Buddhism, there is no forcing people to accept anything. Just as many gurus have taught, take your time to observe and assess and learn, listen to their teachings and make your own judgement. Ask yourself whether the teachings make sense, and whether you are comfortable to know more, then when you are ready, slowly learn. There should never be forcing, because ultimately you are transforming your mind and not someone else's. Eventually you are training your own mind to achieve realisations and enlightenment.

Dear R, thank you so much for your dedication of merits to me. As a stranger to you, I am truly touched. And it was so nice meeting you finally in person. As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Let's learn together as students of the Dharma.  

Below is the said Tara's mantra. May anyone who hears this mantra arise in them compassion and receives Tara's blessings. Om tare tuttare ture soha!

Happy Birthday, Mama!!!!

Yesterday the whole family gathered to celebrate the birthday of our beloved Grandma.  This is one of the occasions of the year whereby the family get together to catch up and to eat and drink.

In truest Singaporean style, let me start with the food. We catered from the good people of Orange Clove. From clockwise: Wok-fried Kung Pow Prawns with Szechuan sauce, Braised Beancurd with Chinese Cabbage and Sweet Peas, Sing Chow Fried Bee Hoon, and Cereal Fish.

Clockwise: Baked Nonya Chicken, Steamed Chicken Siew Mai, Mini Custard Puffs and Garden Greens with Bell Peppers, Onion and Cherry Tomatoes.

Some additional desserts and snacks: Apple Strudel, Fruits and Grand Aunty's homemade Cheng Tng which is the best.

These are some of my family members, excluding those overseas. We realise we are getting older and older each day.... but maybe somewhat happier?

Here is the birthday girl, the head full of white hair dame! With Grandma was her younger sister (my Grand Aunt) who looked identical to her. The next photo was Grandma with all her daughters. And all the men in the family - old boys and young boys. This is Grandma's strawberry cake!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Grandma!!! Beautiful cake with lit candles! According to the lunar calender, Grandma is celebrating her 86 years. I'm so proud of Grandma who is very hardworking and thrifty, and still in excellent health, active, and can still walk faster than some of us! =X

This is the birthday girl, a personal portrait, enjoying her cake. Grandma still chant her mantras with her mala beads every morning when she wakes up at 4.30am and for many decades, she has been a vegetarian for half a day till noon daily.  I wish we can celebrate her every birthday for many many years to come! May Grandma be always this happy and may she live a long life!

We also took the chance to celebrate Fathers' Day too. Another cake.... Oreo Cheesecake for the Dads. Here are all the Dads.... and.... the future dads. :D 

 Have a great one, Dads.

Another portrait with all the old girls and young girls in the family.  Now you know I have many wonderful aunts and cousins. (Damn, I need to get a new camera soon! These were taken with the Iphone).

I guess when we get older, we tend to appreciate the times we spend together, albeit how short they may be. I guess when it comes to family... we just have to give and give love. 

P.S. I didn't photoshop the above photo, it was an atas chocolate from agnes b. 

I dreamt of Chenrezig!

I attended 4 grand scale important pujas and 2 initiations for the first 2 days of the 3-day public Dharma event graced by His Holiness Dagyab Rinpoche and 18 lamas. It was blissful and I was real fortunate to be able to receive so much immense blessings. Eternally grateful to Gaden Shartse Dro-Phen Ling for organising this event and all the volunteers who worked so hard for a good cause.

I was greatly disappointed and a little sad that I was not able to attend the Great Empowerment of 1000-Armed Chenrezig (Kuan Yin) today, the final day of the event, as I had to be present for my grandmother's birthday celebrations. I was in a dilemma for a few days whether to miss the birthday gathering as I wanted so much to receive the initiation of Kuan Yin from Dagyab Rinpoche himself, because I do have a special affinity with Kuan Yin and I had wanted to receive this empowerment from an important guru. (Incidentally my root guru, Lama Zopa Rinpoche is also bestowing the empowerment of Chenrezig in Kuala Lumpur today). Today, my grandmother is 86 years old and I also wanted to celebrate her birthday with her, because..... life is fleeting and I just wanted to spend special important dates with a grand old lady as much as I can. I love my Grandma very much.

After 4 pujas and 2 initiations of the 2 days, last night I was so knocked out that I slept for 11 hours straight. Extremely drained but in a blissful way. This is because after attending the 4 important intensive pujas, it also meant clearing of much negativities and obstacles and receiving great blessings. It is a form of spiritual purification, and it is not uncommon for me to feel knocked out after such pujas.

Last night, I had 2 dreams but I cannot recall the second one now. The first short dream, I was in a small apartment which was sparsely decorated, really minimalist, and there was hardly anything inside the apartment besides bright and clean 4 walls. I remember going into a very tiny bathroom, just big enough for me to sit on the toilet bowl. The size of the bathroom was even smaller than that of the toilet in an airplane.

Apparently, the apartment belonged to a young couple with 2 small kids, a boy and a girl. I do not know why I knew as I only briefly saw the lady of the house and 2 small kids. After the bathroom, I came out into a very bright courtyard, and I met a girl called Davienne. I do not know her, and she said her name was Davienne. Then just as suddenly, I saw His Holiness The Dalai Lama appearing in the courtyard out of nowhere, in his usual maroon monk's robes and smiling broadly.

What was weird to me was, he was alone. Usually the previous few times I dreamt of His Holiness, he was always accompanied by men in black suits (presumably security/bodyguards) and lamas, and surrounded by lots of followers. This time, he just appeared out of nowhere and alone, smiling with clasped palm.

In the dream, of course I was elated and excited on seeing the Living Kuan Yin. The Dalai Lama is the manifestation of Chenrezig (Kuan Yin 观世音菩萨), the Bodhisattva of Compassion. He is an Enlightened Being (Living Buddha) who has postponed his own nirvana and chosen to take rebirth in order to serve humanity. Chenrezig (Kuan Yin) is the embodiment of compassion of all infinite Buddhas. Chenrezig represents the benevolent wishes of all the ten directional Buddhas. Due to her vow to liberate all sentient beings, she manifests into various forms to benefit different beings and has an especially close affinity with sentient beings of this age. One form of manifestaton is the 1000-Armed Chenrezig (千手观音).

According to legend, Chenrezig made a vow that he would not rest until he had liberated all the beings in all the realms of suffering. After working diligently at this task for a very long time, he looked out and realized the immense number of miserable beings yet to be saved. Seeing this, he became despondent and his head split into thousands of pieces. Amitabha Buddha put the pieces back together as a body with very many arms and many heads, so that Chenrezig could work with myriad beings all at the same time. Sometimes Chenrezig is visualized with eleven heads, and a thousand arms fanned out around him.

Back to the dream..... in the courtyard, standing alone in front of that stranger Davienne and myself, His Holiness the Dalai Lama was telling us something (which I cannot recall now), but for the first time in my dream, I could hear him speaking, his empowering voice, and speaking with his fingers gesturing, as if giving some instructions, the very same way he is whenever he is speaking in front of an audience.

In the dream, as he was speaking, I was thinking, was it possible to request His Holiness for a photo to be taken with him, and I was wondering how to open my mouth ( I was a little shy and in awe in front of Him, with my head bent slightly and palms clasped). Then just as quickly, in a split second, he told me and Davienne, to get ready to pose with him for a photo! Wow! I was so happy! It was as if he could read my mind!

His Holiness was standing there getting ready to have his photo taken, with me on his left and Davienne on his right. He was holding our hands. Just as the photo was to be taken, there suddenly appeared a car next to us and many men in black, posing with us as well. His Holiness and myself and Davienne were in front of the car and the men. Everyone was smiling so happily, an upbeat atmosphere in the brightly lit courtyard. And that was it.

I woke up suddenly at the end of the dream, and first thing I thought was "Chenrezig!" and the empowerment that was on today. I thought there must be some connection somewhere. Although I went ahead to celebrate Grandma's birthday, and missed the Chenrezig empowerment, I was really heartened to have dreamt of His Holiness the Dalai Lama at an appropriate time, and to have received blessings from Kuan Yin (Chenrezig) himself!

This is an auspicious dream. Thank you, Your Holiness! May all the blessings I have received from Chenrezig be bestowed upon my Grandma, and may she has a long and healthy life. Om mani padme hum!!