Finally the so-called 'busy' happening period is over. So much realisations this first quarter of the year, not all good or bad, just that life goes on. Perhaps I've encountered much tribulations these few years that if anything happens, or gets any worse, I am actually immuned to it. Maybe 'numb' or 'stoned' would be a better description. Knowing it's karma and remaining not resigned to its workings should be a positive move forward. Karma can change and if we change, it will be better in future, or tomorrow. We don't know what we did in the past to deserve what we did now, but we can always strive to improve for the future.
I've been trying to bounce back to my younger days of being happy-go-lucky and carefree, with the freedom to do whatever I like, going wherever I like, but I realise it's a thing of the past. It's not possible. Because the different experiences I had are different from what I had experienced in the past. Turning back the clock would not guarantee you could avoid all the unhappy stuff from getting to you, but rather it might be worse; maybe another set of unhappy events would arise instead. So it's back to square one.
Many of us like to protect ourselves from being hurt, from our so-called enemies or perpetrators, and would find ways just to prevent others from getting into our comfort zone. However we are often most hurt by those closest to us.
One positive way of looking at disasters or unhappy episodes is to view all these from the perspective of the other party. To me, I guess this helps me to understand better where the other party is coming from. Whether I am agreeable to the method adopted is another question. It doesn't matter. Each of us has our own process of staying grounded to our beliefs.
I think I'm fortunate in a way that I always have people looking out for me all the time, helping me in both worldly and spiritual matters. Whenever I'm in trouble, people will appear to comfort me, help me in all ways possible and even dedicated prayers to me. Some just merely by their presence. I always know I have the blessings and protection of the Gurus, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and Protectors. They appear to me in different forms, and mostly as the human form, through the benefactors I meet.
Recently I did one of those online tests which asked you to identify a crystal which you are most drawn to and the meaning behind the chosen crystal represents your inner self. I was most drawn to a crystal in the chart called Chrysocolla and what they said about my choice was pretty accurate ....
"A natural healer, you prefer to retreat to a quiet place undisturbed by problems and worries when things and people upset you. Others do not often understand your need for reflection and solitude, but these attributes and aspects are necessary for you to fulfill your purpose here. When you are in a more social mode, you are charming, given to deep emotions and have a highly-developed sense of intuition. Trust your instincts more, and your thoughts and purpose will follow."
That's right. It's true, and all quite accurate. I'm reminded to trust my instincts more. My intuition or gut feel rarely fails me. And yes, I need to retreat to be by myself at times to reflect, to recharge, and to reconnect back. But when I'm with others at a social setting I can be charming or chatty. But I always listen to what people have got to say, because most want to be heard.
Anyway, I'm reminded to trust my own instincts because my own inner gut feel or intuition knows better than my gross outer self. Continue to do good, continue to help others, continue to do what I think is right (and care less of what others think). Continue to trust those who I love and have faith in. Continue to contribute and accumulate merits through virtuous deeds. It's only when my 'box' of merits is full then will I be able to eradicate or purify all the unfortunate circumstances. The method is pretty straightforward and simple. There's no 2-ways about it.
I'll end with a quote by Thich Nhat Hạnh which I found touching:
I know that for thousands of lifetimes,
You and I have been one,
And the distance between us,
Is only a flash of thought.
Coming from Thich Nhat Hạnh, it is part of a spiritual message and not of any romantic connotation whatsoever. Think of who has been the 'one' with us for eons of lifetimes. I think I know who. Do you?