Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Why I hardly cry

I hardly cry. Basically I am one who will not reveal much emotions whether I am happy or sad. I hardly cry for joy and I hardly cry when I am down or facing any personal problems. Even when I am angry, I do not cry out of exasperation (the most I may just write out my frustrations here or somewhere else). I would only shed tears over 2 things.

1. When I am very touched.
Perhaps saying it in mandarin is better, which means when I am very 感动. When I look into the eyes of someone familiar or special to me, and I know that person is feeling sad, it will touch me so much that my eyes maybe brimming with tears as I empathise with that person. Or when that special person is crying tears of joy, I would be so touched that I will shed tears of happiness for that person. Earlier on, when a special friend got married, I saw the 感动 and joy in her tears, I was trying to hold back tears too because I was too happy for her. I am touched when I hear beautiful lyrics in songs, when I read something written by someone special, or even a touching dialogue or script on TV/movie. You must be thinking, then I surely cry alot because there are tons of beautiful songs out there, and there are plenty of touching shows. Wrong. It must be songs /words that relate to me in a special way, be it a memory of someone, or of a past event. Or whatever that evokes a nostalgic reminiscence of something which reminds me of a piece of the past, be it sad or happy. In another instance, when I meet a special guru or lama, and he makes me cry even without breathing a word, I think that is compassion arising and I shed tears of joy (because of having found my master which has the affinity and some connection with me in past lives). Therefore, only a few people have touched me so much that they can make me cry. So I hardly have the chance to cry. 

2. Saying good bye 
I do not like saying good bye. Who does, anyway? But I am weird in the sense that, I do not like saying good bye at all, like if a close friend is flying off somewhere indefinitely, or when it is a close colleague's last day, or when a close loved one is leaving the country for good. Even though I know we may meet again, I still do not wish to bid farewell.  If a dear one is flying off, I will usually give some excuse of not sending that person off at the airport. Or if a close friend cum colleague is leaving, I will go MIA or take urgent leave just so to avoid that moment we have to say "good-bye". Or when someone who matters alot to me leaves, I will not say good bye, even though I know that may be the last time we see each other ever again. Yeah, I guess I am weird in that sense. I just do not like good-byes, which will make me cry. So because I avoid such moments, I hardly get to cry (even though it may be pouring in my heart).

So, I hardly cry. Haha, but I do have a jelly heart. I will only cry because of some special people and special circumstances.

1 comment:

  1. "...If a dear one is flying off, I will usually give some excuse of not sending that person off at the airport. Or if a close friend cum colleague is leaving, I will go MIA or take urgent leave just so to avoid that moment we have to say "good-bye..".

    good byes need not be a bad thing. Perhaps it just means to take good care of oneself till the both of you meet again.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...