Identity crisis and pull-hair moments

Frankly I think my blog is having an identity crisis. This year is the 10th anniversary of my blog. What started as a totally unknown blog (I mean unknown to the people I know) has become quite a easily searchable blog when it's something about the Dharma. It's amazing I lasted so long, actually. My posts used to make up 50% on Dharma related stuff and 50% on food reviews or home cooking with some personal posts in between about anything under the sky. Now it seems that it's mostly about dharma related stuff I post (I got too lazy to write about food) and I write mostly about personal thoughts (who would be interested in my personal stuff, really?). Also I have not been blogging consistently for the past year. It always depends on my mood, because that's what a personal blog is about, isn't it? 

I'm not the same as the mainstream social media bloggers who have a focus, either it is usually a food blog, or beauty/fashion blog or travel blog or photography blog. And their presence are more known while I prefer to be low profile. There are only very very few bloggers who write about the Dharma, and they're almost all not from Singapore. Plus I hardly mix around with the current 'generation' of bloggers many whom I have known online for years. Irony much? 

I do love to write Dharma-related stuff  because my life revolves around it. And I still receive emails from readers who are very supportive, especially dharma friends. Most of them want me to continue writing. Yet I feel I'm absolutely not qualified to broach deeper into any specific dharma topics. I only share about events and the great teachers I have the fortune to receive teachings from. I am only able to share my own experience as a Buddhist practitioner yet I am totally incapable of advising readers on particular areas, aside from the usual mantras and certain practices and deities.   I'm not sure if I am benefiting and helping more people. 

I've been thinking of changing the blog's direction and name to focus solely on Dharma, yet I'm unwilling to stop the musings on my daily life, my thoughts, my emo moments, my special occasions, my food reviews etc. I'm unwilling to drop all these. I would like to change and adopt a simpler name for this blog or perhaps rename it simply as 'Stumpbo's Tushita', for Stumpbo is my online moniker anyway. Fellow bloggers know me as Stumpbo. Not many remember the actual name which is 'Life of Lopsided 8' (or LOL8). No one knows why it's named thus, and it has been shortened by some to being 'lopsided' blog (!!!!!!!). Also, maintaining my Stumpbo Facebook account and LOL8 page is time consuming and driving me nuts, as I'm more active on my other actual account. More decisions (*pull hair*). 

The thing is, my real life friends in my other actual FB account seldom post stuff apart from a few. 90% of them are almost dormant. I gather they mostly like to check out and stalk others but not enthusiastic to post anything themselves (most are concerned about online privacy or they prefer to be low profile/secretive/conservative). Quite preferential and selective cliques. Most do not usually bother to click 'Like' or comment, but however, when they meet you, they do remember your posts and might be curious about them. Also, their once-in-a-blue-moon posts would only be if they have taken photos with, say the President of the United States or some special VIPs. This makes my timeline pretty boring (apart from informative posts by FB pages). Hardly earth shattering. In comparison, Stumpbo's friends, being active in social media and bloggers, are used to posting updates constantly, sharing photos and news on a daily regular basis. There's friendly sharing. That's how I get instant news about the happenings of anyone, anything, everything. I appreciate our online interactions, something which my real life friends will never understand.In my actual account, I sometimes feel like a bozo who always share photos and stuff. These are just precious memories to me for keeps (plus it's easier to search for old photos if need be). But I often wonder if my friends feel that I'm showing off or I share too many links/posts or if I'm hoarding their timeline. They may not post anything but I know they are constantly surfing Facebook. Ironically, it's in Stumpbo's account and online friends who make me feel more normal. Although I've started to consider deleting Stumpbo's account off and adding closer online friends to my real life account, I am still hesitant of abandoning it. 

Of course it is entirely each individual's freedom how they would like to behave online. And although many may feel Facebook is just another social media platform and nothing that important to be concerned about, I beg to differ. In order to sustain the popularity of an app, there must be something useful it can provide, daily news, sharing and updates of friends, keeping in touch etc. Otherwise it will die off sooner but other new apps will emerge and still mushroom. I've always been one of those pioneer users of any social media apps when they first launched, like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Posterous, Tumblr, Whatsapp, etc... The cycle is never ending. If you can't stop them, join them. Recently I have an unusual increase of strangers adding me and sending me overly friendly messages which I totally ignore. Privacy is never an issue to me because there are security settings I can manage. Likewise, we can manage our online relationship and interaction with tact, and still maintain friendship both online and offline. There's nothing to be fearful about. 

Maybe I've become jaded to a certain extent that I crave change. Often I take the high road in normal situations. I would not be coerced to write stuff I don't feel anything for. I also don't care too much of any mainstream social media events. I hardly socialise. I hardly advertise for any commercial products or services. I hardly please anyone for the sake of pleasing. Sometimes this doesn't sit well with people. But as long as I stick to writing and doing what I feel is right, I'm not bothered. 

Anyway it's times like now that blurs the line between online and real life. My online life has become an integral part of my life and it is important enough for me to put more serious thought into when I settle this momentary identity crisis of this blog. Or maybe, just maybe, it's time to pack up and call it a day, and stop writing totally. 

Meow. 

Be unshakeable like a vajra

《清明》
清明时节雨纷纷，
路上行人欲断魂。
借问酒家何处有，
牧童谣指杏花村。
-- 杜牧

Today is Qing Ming. It always rain on Qing Ming day. I heard it's been so for thousands of years.

I think this is going to be an emo post. 

I've been coughing for like almost a month, almost recovered and yesterday it got worse. So I went to see the doctor again who gave me antibiotics this time (earlier visit doctor refused to prescribe them). 

A day before, I visited two temples for Qing Ming prayers to my ancestors and grandparents. This year was the first time I went alone as I told my parents to stay home. My father is still recuperating at home, and my mother is also tired, so in order to reassure them and to make them happy, I told them I had go on their behalf. As a Buddhist I believe my ancestors had long taken rebirth. Burning paper items and offering food to them might not help much. However, doing prayers as well as making special incense offering and dedicating the merits to them would help them as well as other beings even if they are reborn in the higher realms or stuck in the lower realms. I wonder how long this Chinese tradition will last though, if it has become a 'chore' or 'duty' to the younger generation. 

I don't mean to sound like a baby, but I've not been in good health recently, plus I encountered quite a number of unfortunate  incidents in between. Blows after blows. Physically, I feel breathless and limp, never have I been like this before as I'm usually strong, fearless and healthy. Nowadays  I feel easily cold that I've to wear a scarf almost all the time! Moreover I have been sleep deprived for a few months. Although it is not that serious yet, but if this carries on, coupled with my cough, I just cannot imagine. 

Not having good physical health has its impact on mental health too. That's why I've been emotional, sad, frustrated and disappointed on many occasions. I feel that I just want to get out of this suffering state and leave. I asked some friends, why I always meet so many obstacles which are manifesting non stop, despite all the good virtuous deeds I try to do. Despite trying to study and practise the Dharma. Even then I meet problems still.  I often observe, many are richer and privileged, they are enjoying good reputation and social status and in the good books of their bosses and organisations, and they might not be even keen on charity work to benefit others. I know there is no point for comparison. The Buddhist point of view attributes all these to their good karma, something they've done right in their past lives to enjoy the present. I know it is not right to feel slighted in this way but when times are down, I still cannot help but be shaken and very discouraged. I would not know what is fair or not until samsara ends, as the cause and conditions always change. 

I hope I'm still planting some good seeds for my future lives. Anyway I just know that I need to get out of this current rut very soon. It's about time. 

Getting there

It is amazing when I chased for an outstanding huge sum from an overseas debtor company, I have to deal with so many correspondences from them just to justify why they could not pay at this moment. Yet at the same time they are demanding for the 'goods' to be delivered 'on time' by a specific date, even though they are aware the 'goods' could not be delivered if no payment has been made. Clearly they do not know what is 'COD'. I am amazed at the number of excuses people can come up with during the course of daily work, to protect their back.   

I am just utterly befuddled an early email could make me lose my cool, even though I 'enjoyed' refuting them point by point in my 'powerful' professional sarcastic English. Actually I am increasingly tired of the business world, of cunning businesmen, of unjust law and (dis)order and protocol. I know how they act, how they breathe, how they react.... within my fingers' tip. Even though I can contain them well, I feel it is such an unreal and unkind way of behaviour and living. That is increasingly how I do not want my life to be.... to be only concerned for power and fame and money, to be only worried about the mundane samsaric stuff of this life. There has to be a better kinder way of living and making money.

I am searching for more to life. I have found the way to do it. Now is just getting there.   

Break loose, Breadtalk

Breadtalk Shanghai

A former classmate of mine is based in Shanghai. Being Singaporean, she buys bread from Breadtalk, a Singaporean bakery with a branch in Shanghai almost everyday. Currently Breadtalk has 123 shops in China. 

My friend related her experience in Facebook recently.... 

She was number 2 in the queue waiting to pay. As usual, there were a lot of people cutting queue. 

When it was her turn, this was her conversation with the cashier: 

Friend: 请问，不需要排队付钱吧？ Excuse me, don't we need to queue? 

Cashier: 要的！ YES! 

Friend: 那你们为什么一直服务插队的人？Why do you service those who cut queue first?

Cashier: 她们要插队我能怎样？There is nothing I can do! 

Friend: 你应该维持次序! You can help with maintaining order! 

Cashier: 来我们这里买东西的就是素质差！Those who buy from us are uncivilized people!

My friend was utterly pissed and disgusted especially since Breadtalk is a Singaporean brand name. She asked since she purchases from Breadtalk almost every other day, if she was also considered one of those "uncivilised people" which the Breadtalk staff has rudely classify its customers as. 

By the way, my friend is going to boycott Breadtalk China from now on. I hope Mr George Quek, the big boss of Breadtalk, will look into this matter.  

Raging thoughts like turbulent waves

Sometimes it's so hard to contain negative emotions. The world seems to crush down ever so often. We have been taught that all these negative thoughts of persons/events that upset us are all due to our own mind. Everything is caused by us, no one else. Yes, that I know. But it's the 'tuning' of our mind that is the most difficult. So hard to overcome it. It is our (lack of) ability to transform our mind. We meditate on it. We go for retreats. We (try to) think happy thoughts. We even go (window) shopping to distract ourselves sometimes.  

It's unbelievable that it is often the ones closest to us that can cause us so much unhappiness, sadness and grief. Or, is it? It is precisely our craving for the attention and love and support from those we deem as 'loved ones' that make us miserable. Having expectations - expecting everything to have a reciprocal action, be it something tangible or intangible - cause us to be so unhappy. But I guess this is natural. This is samsara, the very bane of our cyclic existence.

Not too long ago, I received an encouraging note from a friend. It was so touchingly written. I felt so happy. But in the next moment, within a span of 24 hours, a misunderstanding occurred, just before friend's birthday. It took me two weeks to get over it.  Another incident in the past, I think I took 3 years to get over it.  It makes me feel very fragile - that life is so unpredictable. There are so many issues to grapple with and to overcome in order to control and manage our monkey mind.

All these incidents happened ever so often. In a way, it got me thinking.... how the very closest to me are actually not that close. Instead, those not so close friends, acquaintances and even strangers seem to treat me even better at times.  With Dharma practice, I seem to contemplate alot more than I used to. Last night, I even tweeted, "Sometimes I wonder why I can see through everything so clearly. But how nice if everything remains in a veil of delusion?".  Sometimes the truth is so hard to accept. But as I keep mentioning recently, ripening of obstacles may not be all bad. It is in fact, good news.  
 
This morning, I received an email from a Dharma brother. He has sent me a Groupon voucher for a meal. It is an advance birthday gift. What a pleasant surprise.  Although we do not meet often, we do share our views of Buddhism and stuff. However it is still a surprise he remembered. While I pay extra attention in choosing and lavishing gifts on those I love, nowadays I seem to receive many little gifts from the people I least expected instead.  It is a funny world.

For now, I have decided to create an album in my Facebook, called The Gratitude Box, where I will post photos of all the gifts I have received from anyone, big or small. It is not so much of showing off or placing emphasis on material stuff, but rather, I hope in a way, it will help me be grounded and be reminded of the kindness of everyone I meet.  I should learn to treat those who treat me well with extra respect, and for those who didn't, I should not dwell too much over the lack of. And I know I have the blessings of the Buddhas and protectors who watch over me. I need to study and practice harder.


Garchen Rinpoche said, 
"The cause of all suffering is the self-centered mind, and all the negative emotions. When you recognize this, your faults will be exhausted.When you recognize that the only cause of happiness is a pure and loving mind, your qualities will increase like the waxing moon." 

"An intellectual understanding is already a great merit. However, an intellectual understanding will not dispel the root of our suffering, our negative emotions. It certainly helps, but in order to truly pass beyond suffering, we must practice, gain a living experience. When we gain a personal experience, we will directly see how love is so precious. Knowing this, based on experiencing it directly, one will not let go of it at any cost. Not letting go of love, we will habituate to it to the point when it becomes effortless and always remains naturally. Then we have created perfect peace and happiness and have finally passed beyond suffering."

Save the proselytising please

A couple of nights back, I lay awake in bed till 4am. Even though I was exhausted from a busy Saturday and needed to rest, I could not sleep. My thoughts were on a proselytising case, and this time it was from family, a relative. I was feeling uneasy and the anger refused to subside.

An aunt who is a Christian, has been trying to influence and convert my grandma, who is getting on in age and losing her memory and clarity of mind day by day. My grandma was asked to attend a baptism ceremony of a grand aunt (her sister) who also just got converted. My grandaunt has told my mom that she had no choice because all her children are Christians (what do you mean by.. "no choice"?).

Grandma was asked by the proselytiser, "are they (her other Buddhist siblings) going to pray for you after your death?".  It is ironical this coming from the only Christian in the family among her siblings who are mostly Buddhists and a few Catholics. And she had wanted to enrol grandma in a Christian day care centre (we know what all these entail). I thought that was utterly rude and insensitive, and a sneaky scare tactic to an old lady who is one's own mother, and trying to rob her of her own religion. Grandma has been a devout Buddhist all her life. Is this the way of repaying the kindness of grandma who has helped her and her family so much?  I was disturbed.

Statues of The Buddha and Jesus Christ

My own mom was not spared either. She was asked by aunt, "do you know WHAT you are praying to?" I suppose she meant we Buddhists are praying to stones, statues and idol worshipping (I will blog about this in another post). There are many more such incidents. I wonder in exasperation, why can't they leave others with a different faith alone?

Are those who have a different belief and non-believers in Christ, by default "possessed by the devil" and are doomed to go to hell? And by being a believer, one is definitely going to heaven? Is everything so simple and straight forward?  Heaven or hell. Disciple or devil. If I am a murderer who has killed 100 men, and on the day I was to be executed, if I were to accept Christ, I would still be going to heaven? According to Buddhism, we very well know this would definitely not be the case. This is because everything is dependent on the law of karma - cause and effect. We are all responsible for the SINS (we Buddhists called it 'actions') we have committed, whether the negative karma ripens this very lifetime or future lifetimes. It is very logical - we still have to answer for it. But then again, I am not going to push our beliefs onto others. So I hope others stop harassing and forcing upon us their faith.

All should be mindful not to proselytise one's own religion, whether to those at work, from home, or in the society. It is fine to propagate your religion but do not do it at the expense of derogating the other religions. The key word is mutual RESPECT. May all practise greater mindfulness of action, speech and mind. 

Having said that, there are also some kind and good Christians I know. I especially respect Catholics who are mostly kind-hearted, understanding people who respect Buddhism. And this is the way it should be, everyone supporting each other and co-existing with each other in harmony.

On hindsight, one good thing did come out of that night's insomnia. I was angry but I managed to transform my anger into an even stronger aspiration/motivation to attain liberation for myself in this very lifetime. It made me realise I cannot waste any more time, I cannot wait a second anymore, I cannot delay my own liberation anymore. I need to practise hard for my own liberation and eventually enlightenment, so that I can quickly and more quickly come back to help others in these degenerated times. This is because to meet the Buddha's teachings in future lifetimes will be even harder.

When we contemplate on the fragility and impermanence of life and the suffering of all deluded sentient beings, the answer is very obvious. There is no other way we can escape from it except ceasing from cyclic existence - and that is through achieving Buddhahood. And coming to such realisations, it is such a beautiful healing process for me.

Based your belief on logic and common sense

Other related posts 

Forced to believe

Proselytizing rears its ugly head again - local university group insults Thai Buddhists and Turkey 
What differentiates Buddhism from Christianity
Another place other than Heaven 
Alleluia and amen!

Getting over what's beyond me

Sometimes I get agitated by friends during conversations. Understandably, we have our differences in opinions in our daily life. I do not understand their actions, and they do not understand my point of view. Let's not even get to who is right or wrong. To me, if I care enough for someone, I would be pretty forthright and direct. I do not like beating around the bush. Sometimes it is because I have a very uncomfortable nagging feeling over the friend's situation or problem. Maybe it was some kind of fuzzy premonition, because I am often 90% accurate. That is the only reason I bothered to ask, or 'question' in the first place. Otherwise, mostly, I am practically bochap. 

But then again, ultimately, I understand, some things are beyond my control. In the end, I just hope he/she is happy. If anything really do happen, it is again beyond my control. I seem to have that burning desire to listen, to help, to warn, but mostly because of this, I become deeply disappointed when words fall on deaf ears. I hope my concern for others never diminish, and from that, may I continue to develop patience and compassion.

I like this little quote by Venerable Pema Chodron, adapted from "Start Where You Are, chapter 17 - Compassionate Action".  

"How do we create a saner world or a saner domestic situation or job situation, wherever we may be? How do we work with our actions and our speech and our minds in a way that opens up the space rather than closes it down? In other words, how do we create space for other people and ourselves to connect with our own wisdom? 

It all starts with loving-kindness towards oneself, which in turn becomes loving-kindness for others. As the barriers come down around our own hearts, we are less afraid of other people. We are more able to hear what is being said, see what is in front of our eyes, and work in accord with what happens rather than struggle against it. The lojong teachings say that the way to help, the way to act compassionatley, is to exchange oneself for other. When you can put yourself in someone else's shoes, then you know what is needed, and what would speak to the heart." 

I'm constantly still trying very hard to do that.

NTUC to stop selling shark's fin products

Great news! Singapore’s largest supermarket chain, NTUC Fairprice, with more than 230 outlets, has announced that it would stop selling sharks fin products from 1 April 2012 onwards. 

This came after the sales manager, Chris Lee, of its supplier of shark fin products, Thern Da Seafood Pte Ltd, enraged people online (who were against shark finning) by posting in his Facebook wall directed at divers. He mocked them for being unable to stop his company from supplying NTUC Fairprice with sharks fin and Mola Mola products in the upcoming Chinese New Year season.

The post drew much criticism and went viral on Facebook and also Twitter. Many called for a boycott of both the supplier and FairPrice. Comments also made its way on to FairPrice's Facebook page. Among them were calls for FairPrice to relook its corporate social responsibility policy and to stop selling shark's fin. 

This was NTUC's reply on its Facebook Page today, 5 Jan 2012: 

"Thank you everyone for your comments and for alerting us to this matter. As a standing instruction, all our suppliers are required to clear their joint promotional materials and messages with us before implementation. In this incident, the supplier had not complied with our standing instruction. We take this matter very seriously and we are withdrawing all products from Thern Da Seafood across all our stores."

"Sustainability is important to FairPrice and we have been relooking various policies in our commitment to be a socially responsible retailer. The sale of shark fin has been one of the areas that we have been looking into in the past few months. We are pleased to announce that we will cease the sale of shark fin products by the first quarter of this year. This is to ensure that we honour our current commitments to our partners but will no longer be placing new orders for shark fin products." 

Sharks fin soup

Such is the beauty of social media. Kudos to NTUC Fairprice for making the right move by being socially responsible, albeit after this embarressing scandal. NTUC Fairprice is not the first supermarket in Singapore to stop selling sharks fin products. Another supermarket chain, Cold Storage, has already taken the lead by saying "no" to selling sharks fin on 1 Oct 2011. Let's hope the other supermarket chains like Sheng Siong, Giant and Shop N Save, will follow suit. Let's also hope that other suppliers and commercial shops do not seize this opportunity to sell to consumers.

If you are a consumer of sharks fin soup, think of the unbearable pain suffered by the sharks whose fins were cut off while they were still alive and thrown back into the sea. Please stop harming the sharks this Chinese New Year. Remember, if there is no demand, there will be no supply. Be kind. Be compassionate. 

As for Chris Lee, well, he shot himself in the foot. He lost a huge corporate account and would probably lose his job as well. But I guess we have to thank him in hastening NTUC Fairprice's decision. 

 

My previous posts on sharksfinning:

Stop shark finning 
Say NO to Sharks Fin soup during this reunion! 庆祝新年, 拒吃鱼翅! 

Facebook CEO's photos leaked due to security glitch

Rediff reported a security glitch in Facebook, in which its CEO, Mark Zuckerberg's, photos from his private page have been leaked. Because of this, users could access his photographs even though they were private. The photographs that were leaked were taken inside the billionaire's $7-million California home, with his girlfriend Priscilla Chan. Facebook said it has already fixed the embaressing bug.

I find this so ironical, coming from the man who rocked the world by founding Facebook and who said, "I founded Facebook on the idea that people want to share and connect with people in their lives, but to do this everyone needs complete control over who they share with at all times. This idea has been the core of Facebook since day one. When I built the first version of Facebook, almost nobody I knew wanted a public page on the internet."

And not that the exposed photos were much of a revelation behind the Facebook CEO's personal life. They were pretty ordinary daily photos of his life, especially those with his pets and apart from, we now know he loves to cook at home. Here are some of the leaked photos:

Mark with President Obama

Mark with his Hungarian sheepdog, Beast

Mark with his girlfriend Priscilla Chan wearing matching red aprons

Mark with the snacks he cooked

Mark making sushi at home with girlfriend

Actually all pretty boring stuff if you were to ask me. Do not expect intimate and very private photos aka. HK-actor-Edison-Chen-type of scandal. But there was one photo which I baulked at. It is a photo which Mark Zuckerberg was holding a chicken at his house before he slaughtered it. It is reported that he only eats meat from animals he kills himself!  I think this is such a cruel act, killing lives of animals with his own hands, and in the very compound of his home. I hope Mark realise the dire consequence of his actions. Peace.

Mark Zuckerberg with a chicken he was going to slaughter

To share an article on the results of a lab test done by the University of Chicago on rats, proving that little primitive animals have feelings too. Given a choice between munching on a tasty chocolate treat or helping a fellow rat escape from a restraint, test rodents often preferred to liberate a pal in need, indicating that their empathy for others was reward enough. During the research, 2 rats shared the same cage for 2 weeks. Then, they moved them to a new cage where one rat was held in a restraining device while the other could roam free. 

Focused rat helped its cagemate trapped in a restrainer by trying to opening the door and eventually freed its fellow mate.

The researcher said, "There are a lot of ideas in the literature showing that empathy is not unique to humans, and it has been well demonstrated in apes, but in rodents it was not very clear." This lab test proved otherwise.  Hence, as ironical as it seems in this study, that humans, with the highest level of intelligence, do not seem to feel as much for its own kind (fellow humans), compared to apes and rodents. 

Who is this Bell Curve God?

Saw these unbelievable photos from STOMP.  Some students in a local university who are sitting for their final examinations have reportedly resorted to and set up shrines to pray to a so-called 'Bell Curve God' for help.  The Bell Curve grading is a method of assigning students' grades based on their relative performance in comparison to their classmates' performance.

Taken in a hostel in a local university, students are so stressed and desperate for good results that they have printed a photo of this so-called 'God' with '2 hands' next to it, and a table full of food offerings like instant cup noodles, sweets, Nutella, drinks, chocolates, bread etc. There are also 2 candles, 3 cups of water in front of the portrait.  There is even a buzzer bell amidst the 'offerings'?

Don't you think this message with a skeleton is most disturbing and shocking? I am most astonished to see these photos and hope that these are just part of a sick prank. We should bear in mind, that one should not venerate and make offerings to any unknown subject as this may unwittingly attract passing spirits to reside in the surroundings.  It can be dangerous and can cause upheaval to one's own life, not to mention the negative vibes. If one needs to pray or find solace, turn to one's own religion instead, whether you are a Christian, Buddhist or Catholic etc.... and get a proper object/statue/religious item with religious background. I feel parents or the school authorities should be alerted. They should act and counsel the students immediately, if this is found to be true.

May all beings be wise and free from unnecessary disturbances.

Condemn this cruel act in Singapore

Saw this clip from Cat Welfare Society and I am disturbed and disgusted. It was captured by the CCTV of a local vet clinic, James Tan Veterinary Centre at Whitley Road.  

"This is the footage of what appears to be a large-sized man (with a child) who drives a Mercedes Benz, dumping a cat in the bin of a local vet clinic. The cat (sterilised) was rescued 6 hours later by the clinic staff and is currently recuperating though it's in shock. Please spread the word. Pet abandonment is a crime punishable by law. We hope that folks can help with info that will lead to the identification and apprehension of the perpetrator."

This fat Ang moh man aka. cat dumper has got to be condemned and be held accountable for his act. What is worse then abandoning a cat (supposedly his pet) in broad daylight and dumping it into a rubbish bin, with no air to breathe for 6 hours (till it was found and rescued)? And he was performing such a cruel act in front of an impressionable little kid?  How outrageous is that?

If the cat was not discovered and died due to suffocation, this cat dumper would have created the causes and conditions to be reborn as a cat in his next life. The workings of Karma. Does he even know and realise that?

Please help to spread the word and catch the culprit.

Hear ye, pig's ear..

Saw these in a supermarket the other day, and it kind of grossed me out a little. These are braised pig ears. I do not see these often nowadays but I am sure many restaurants sell them. 

Pig's ears are usually boiled or stewed, and then sliced thin, served with or spiced with chili paste. Pig ears are usually stewed in a classic Chinese red braise of soy sauce, sugar, star anise, and cinnamon, the savory-sweet ear is served chilled and sliced into long slivers. The ears are then cut across in width, each sliver is a cross section of all three elements in the organ. The Cantonese, in particular, like a platter of sliced pig's ear as a cold dish, an essential part of their Chinese dining experience. 

When cooked, the outer texture is gelatinous, akin tofu is crunchy. Like tofu, the cartilage may be mild in taste. I was wondering, since it is almost tasteless, why eat pig's ears? 

I have never tasted pig ears before and I do not intend to try. This is because, when I sight the ears, I would think of how those ears were sliced off the pigs' heads, just as how fins were being sliced off from the sharks.

In other news, it is great to hear that Asia's oldest hotel chain, the Peninsula Hotels group, is taking sharksfin the Chinese delicacy off its menus. From January, diners won't be offered shark's fin products at the luxury Peninsula Hotels chain, due to a decision by its owners, the Hongkong and Shanghai Hotels group.

"By removing shark fin from our menus, we hope that our decision can contribute to preserving the marine ecosystem for the world's future generations," the group's chief executive officer Clement Kwok announced in a brief press statement.

Around 73 million sharks are estimated to be killed each year, taking one in three shark species to the brink of extinction. Their fins are hacked off at sea and the carcass discarded in the water in a practice referred to as "finning."

"A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep"

Sometimes I wonder how it is possible I could feel so much for people I do not even know. For example, the lady I saw on the street whose both hands, limbs, legs, face and neck are filled with protruded spots /lumps all over her body. Or the grumpy and grouchy old lady on the bus who was frowning with a worried look, that I wished I could chase her troubles away. Or the half-dressed beggar sitting outside a temple ground holding up a torn cardboard to shield himself from the sun, begging for money. There are so many people I meet who are obviously facing some problem and in need of help badly.

On the other hand, I find it a little unsettling that at times when I get increasingly impatient and disappointed by people whom I know personally, their motives and actions. We are too familiar with these people and situations because they exist in our community, be it in our work place, within our extended family, our circle of friends, or within religious and hobby groups.

While it is alright if we feel compassion for those weaker than and stranger to us, I was wondering and contemplating on why we feel equally guilty and uncomfortable when we have unpleasant encounters with those we know. Like how these people "close" to us like to gossip, like to speculate the unnecessary, like to play politics. 

I recall, once I was queuing up to receive blessings from a Rinpoche. I witnessed how a lady with a haversack, turning around suddenly and rudely ticking off the man behind her, accusing him of pushing and "touching" her. The room was small, and there were probably more than 200 people trying to get to their turn. Everyone was naturally literally rubbing shoulders with one another. And perhaps the lady's own haversack on her back was bulky too. Tempers were frayed.

Yet another time, before the start of a class, some people made a big fuss about their seats. Everyone wanted a good seat, but care nothing of the person next to them. One does not realise how lucky one is being able to attend precious teachings of the Buddha in these degenerated times. Does it really matter where one is sitting in the small room?

Then there is a new found acquaintance who wasted no time in introducing herself to everyone in my circle, giving out her personal name cards listing her so-so educational qualifications and telling everyone to "call me, ok?". No, she is not selling insurance or MLM products. She is a housewife. Worse, she asked everyone 1001 questions about their background, sizing each stranger up the first time they met. I could not help but wonder what her motive was. Everyone was a little uncomfortable with her inquisitive and over-friendly manner. Then slowly I realise the character she is. Even much worse, she spoke exaggerated untruth and gossiped to my friend about me within a short span of time she knew me ie. 2 weeks. She made it sound like she is my buddy whom she has known for ages. I bailed out and became extremely wary of her. I do not know if I should feel elated because, once again, I was spot on in my analysis of her character. I quote Saul Bellow, "A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep".

In times like this, I wish these people I come across, will perhaps try to understand the crux of the Buddha's teachings, which is ultimately teaching us not to remain victims of the 3 mental poisons; attachment, hatred, ignorance. These very poisons always never fail to rear its ugly head as long as we are still here in samsara. And I am also guilty of feeling the same way too. Khensur Rinpoche taught that... the day we are able to treat our enemies as reverently as our own mother, is the day we can reduce our own selfish attachment and develop bodhicitta. But, how many days do we have left?

As of now, I'm sad that I have a long way to go to learn and to practise.

Must try??!!

Wanted to have my kopi-C fix and a little snack one afternoon.  I saw this little open-space counter selling kaya toast, sandwiches, and all the hot /cold beverages, similar to the likes of Yakun, ToastBox, Kiliney etc...  Looking at the lighted sign box menu above the counter, I was pondering what to order.  Usually we pay extra attention to the side of individual items with a "Must try!", "Highly recommended", "Chef's choice".... etc... I was not in the mood to have the usual kaya toast, until I saw "Steamed Kaya Bread" with a "Must Try" in red print at its side.  This was the first time I saw "steamed kaya bread", so I thought why not give it a try.  More healthy.

You can imagine my surprised look when the counter staff gave me my order. It was just a plate of warm steamed plain white bread cut into cubes, which came with a mix of butter and kaya spread plopped inside a small plastic container and a tiny wooden 'knife' to spread your bread.  So, the "must try" steamed kaya bread is actually plain bread which I needed to DIY myself.  Fooled. 

Be more man, please.

I'm sure we see this sight pretty often. I was at the MRT train station when I saw a loving couple.  Nothing unusual. Then I noticed the guy was carrying his girlfriend/wife's handbag on his shoulder.  I know it's a lovely gesture to be helping your partner. But I just like to ask, "Is the tiny handbag the weight of a few gold bars?".  

Unless your partner is carrying a huge heavy bag or a gunny sack, a tiny handbag does not look very manly for a guy to be holding on to. I'm sure when your spouse goes shopping, she doesn't mind and can manage lugging bags and bags of bargains with absolutely no problem. If you really NEED to carry that handbag for her, I suggest putting it inside a paper bag.

Just my personal opinion. Be more man, please.

How to stop gossiping and creating drama

Sometimes, on and off, I am perturbed by the going-ons around me. Life is not so simple in our daily interaction with the people whom we know, the people who are strangers, the people who love us, the people who do not have a good impression of us, the people whom we do not like, the people whom we like, anyone who manage to crawl into our minds and turn our thoughts topsy turvy. 

What causes harm for others as well as ourselves is merely malicious words; those we speak, those others speak, and those we hear.  Partaking in an innocent conversation easily turn to idle talk, or gossip. We become our very own culprit of committing an  non-virtuous act. Creating negative action crept upon us quietly in mere seconds, while it takes such a long time to accumulate merits.  

How do we stop gossiping ourselves and about others? 

Below excerpts from Tiny Buddha website, a contribution by Shanti Sosienski.

I realized that the ritualistic practice we had all been engaging in is most commonly referred to as “gossip” and it’s not a good habit. Today I decided it’s time to create a new practice in my life when I find myself engaging in conversation which waivers dangerously toward the “g” word.

1. When you find yourself repeating a name over and over again in a story, stop after the second repeat (even if it’s a different story) and ask yourself how bringing this up is bettering the world.

2. If you are repeating a story about someone, pause for a moment and take some time to think about that person. What is at the root of the problem there? Could you be so annoyed by it because it’s familiar to you and might be a practice you are guilty of, too?

3. If you find that someone is constantly challenging your world in a way that doesn’t feel positive to you, can you remove that person from your life? If it’s your mother-in-law maybe not, but how can you work through or around this challenge?

4. If this person is someone who is going to continue to be in your life for a very long time it’s important that you don’t let the stories become just that—stories. Tell them over and over and they morph and grow more fantastic with time. Look at what’s important in that moment, focus on that, and let the gossip roll away.

5. If you absolutely must talk about this person, give yourself a time limit. Look at a clock on the wall. Tell the story in 1-2 minutes. Wrap it up. Change the topic.

Doesn’t that feel good just thinking about it?

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” 

– The Buddha

Let's stop gossiping and creating drama.  Create dharma instead. 

The hullabaloo about Song Hua Jiang restaurant selling dog meat in Singapore

An update from my earlier post "Why is a Singapore restaurant selling dog meat?" on 9 May 2011. Thanks to the readers who have left comments. Almost all expressed exasperation and disgust if this case is to be proven true. 

These couple of days, various media have also published this incident:

Is this dog meat?  (Photo by Amanda Phua, TNP)

Channelnewsasia reported that the Agri—Food and Veterinary Authority of Singapore (AVA) is in the midst of investigating the restaurant who is reportedly selling "braised dog meat, tofu and cabbage". AVA has taken samples for testing to ascertain the type of meat used.

For the uninitiated, under Singapore's law, any type of meat can only be imported from AVA-approved sources which have met public health and food safety standards. Authorities also ensure that local slaughter houses meet standards of safety and welfare in the treatment and handling of live animals for slaughter.  However, AVA adds that there is no premises licensed for the slaughter of dogs in Singapore. AVA said it accepts only internationally humane methods and "there is no known humane methods of slaughtering dogs for human consumption".

Anyone caught illegally slaughtering animals for human consumption or importing dog meat could be fined up to S$10,000 and jailed up to 12 months. 

The Temasek Review has reported about this case as well, adding that "the relentless influx of immigrants from mainland China has provided a ready market for dog meat in Singapore as it is highly unlikely that Singaporeans will touch the ‘exotic’ meat."  Temasek Review wonders if the import of 900,000 foreign workers on work permits into Singapore (as welcomed by MM Lee Kuan Yew) will push the sale of dog meat to be legalized one day in order to make our new Chinese immigrants feel "respected and welcomed".

The Animal Concerns Research and Education Society, Singapore(ACRES) has also voiced their concerns on their Facebook page about the Song Hua Jiang Restaurant and the conflicting responses from its owner Mr Song, a Chinese national turned Singapore citizen, based on his interviews with the Straits Times and AVA. Here is what ACRES commented.

1. First the restaurant owner says the 2 dog meat dishes are “actually made from pig innards”.

2. He then confirmed that he has been selling “dog meat” dishes as he wanted “to offer something unusual to customers”.

3. Then “he stressed that he explains to any customer who orders the dish that it is not real dog meat” even though he already said he wanted to “to offer something unusual to customers”.

4. Again, to confirm that he was not selling “dog meat”, he conveniently said that “the Chinese text for that dish had a typographical error and the English translation was inaccurate because he was not familiar with the language.”

5. “To correct the typo and wrong translation, his staff had pasted stickers on the menu to block out the erroneous text some time ago but perhaps some of the stickers had dropped off”.

6. He then added that “he did not remove the items from the menu because he wanted to promote an alternative for Chinese nationals who enjoy dog meat”.

7. Lastly, he said “I don't encourage people to eat dog meat because I think that is cruel and inhumane. I am trying to provide an alternative for people who have a taste for the dish”.

Sounds like a very confused man to me. In any angle, he is obviously shooting himself in the foot. Mr Song has lived in Singapore for 8 years with his wife and a 14-year-old daughter. They are now Singapore citizens but he says he would consider moving abroad after this incident.

ACRES said that they have made a police report and appealed to the Commercial Affairs Department to investigate into this case. So it is now up to the restaurant. ACRES said that the restaurant "can admit that they served dog meat and be prosecuted by AVA or they can admit that they served pork for a dish they labelled as dog meat, thereby cheating their customers and be prosecuted by the Commercial Affairs Department."

Coincidentally I had also posted earlier on 19 April 2011 about how "Activists save Chinese dogs from cooking pot". A group of 200 activists and animal lovers in China had recently managed to stop about 500 dogs (which were stolen or caught off the streets) from being sold to restaurants, to be slaughtered and served as dishes. The animal protection group reportedly paid 15,000 yuan ($17,600) to have the dogs released. I am utterly disgusted  and outraged by this episode and I certainly hope nothing of this sort will ever happen in Singapore in the future.

A worker in China serving up dog meat

Chinese animal lovers release the rescued dogs at the China Animal Protection Association.  Photo: AFP

A Chinese animal lover consoles one of the dogs. Photo: AFP

I hope we get a reply from the authorities soon. Oh, in the meantime, please keep a close watch on your dogs at home.