坣娜, 庆幸.

I'm a loyal supporter if I like someone. I do not really have any particular idol, but the only celebrity I would admit to is Taiwanese singer, Tang Na 坣娜. She celebrated her birthday recently. She just turned 44, I think. 

To me, Nana is a fantastic singer and actress in the 80-90s, a diva in her own right. She is out of the limelight in recent years and she is now a yoga instructor as well as the owner of a hair salon and cafe. She has revealed that for the past 16 years, she was actually having problem with her hearing and suffering from depression after a serious car accident. She even contemplated suicide. Despite her slight handicap, she made famous many sad soppy soulful songs with her powerful vocals. Her famous songs include  別戀,  奢求, 自由, 别恋  and I like her rendition of 落花流水.

In her recent blog entry, she wrote in mandarin, here I translated an excerpt: 

"Ever since the car accident years ago, I do not like to celebrate my birthdays. Perhaps it is because I did not die in that accident and I'm so fortunate to be still alive, I do not like to have an elaborate celebration. 

When I was a young girl, I do have high expectation when my birthday is approaching. At that time, I would wonder if my parents would remember my birthday and I would be excited and anxious when the day is approaching. However, my birthday always slipped by quietly. This is because my birthday is very close to the Chinese Lunar New Year, so my parents would be too busy.  My father only remembered my birthday a few days later when he saw my disappointed look.

Because my family was not well to do, I conditioned myself to think:

1. I would tell myself it was fine that no one remembered my birthday, I am not that important, and luckily no one remembered because if they did, I would be too shy anyway if they had given me the attention!

2. I love window shopping since young. I love to look at the things I like, and when one day, the item was not on display anymore, it means that someone more suitable has purchased it!" 

Despite her age, I feel she looks more beautiful as she ages. She may not be a stunner but to me she has a certain sophisticated and aloof air, possesses 气质, very 性格. There is a certain magnetism and confidence about her - that's why she is my role model. I wish to age as gracefully as her.

This drawing made me laugh. This is Nana's simple drawing (using Paintbox) of the Yellow Jambhala, 黃財神. Do you notice the mongoose on his hand which spews out precious jewels?  In Buddhism, Jambhala is the wealth-giving form of Avalokitesvara or Kuan Yin, the bodhisattva of compassion. Jambhala's blessings are to help others by eliminating poverty, so that they may practice the Dharma. There are five Jambhalas - Yellow Jambhala (overcomes pride), White Jambhala (overcomes attachment), Black Jambhala (overcomes resentment), Green Jambhala (overcomes jealousy) and Red Jambhala (overcomes greed). 

I have mentioned in this blog umpteen times, perhaps my most favourite song from her is 庆幸 which happened to be her favourite too. It may not be the most popular of her songs, but the lyrics are quite touching, especially the chorus part. I remember her singing this song during encore in her concert many years ago. In an elegant gown, she gave an astounding delivery with her powerful vocals and she cried. I would never forget that moment. Very touching.

Happy Belated Birthday, 娜娜! 

May you be happy and be in excellent health always!

The month of January 2011 in pictures

The first month of 2011 has been a blissful whirlwind affair and February will be worse (I mean better). I didn't take that many pictures this month. Here's my month end round-up.

Tempted to buy the whole shop of old school kuehs

Met up with buddies and Baby Amber for dim sum!

Heart-breaking month and prayers for Khen Rinpoche

Went to liberate 70,000 lives x 100million!

Seafood Pho was so-so

Espirit CNY tees were a shock!

Caught a glimpse of the procession

Sighting of huge epok epok at T2 canteen

Love Dagyab Rinpoche's precious initiations/teachings

I love reciting the Praises to 21 Taras in Tibetan

Yummy snack!

Remnants of my latte & a Buddha smile

Niece's birthday, she's growing up too fast *sob*

This blonde needs to go on a diet! ;D

It's been raining non-stop in January

Lama Zopa Rinpoche is arriving soon! Happy!

The Rabbit year is also coming

Buying CNY snacks....

Prosperous buns

Waiting for an auspicious CNY

What are you doing, parents?

While waiting for a bus at the bus stop yesterday, I saw these 2 Malay kids walked past me. They were eating sweets and talking loudly. They were not accompanied by any adult.

The girl and boy, presumably siblings, looked between the age of 3-5. Hand in hand, they were walking by the roadside (not on the pavement) heading towards the traffic light. It was raining earlier but it has just stopped. Then while both kids were waiting for the green light, the little boy got impatient, and ran across the road while it was still red light. The little girl was trying to shout at him and waving her hand. Luckily there was no car in sight.

I panicked at the little boy's daring act. And afterwards I was indignant. The first thing I thought was, how could their parents had allowed them to roam the streets on their own? It was so dangerous for a 3 year old boy to be dashing across the street like that. If something untoward had happened to him, who would be responsible?

Parents, please be mindful of what your kid is up to. If you have to leave your child under the care of a guardian, please make sure the guardian can be trusted. In my opinion, no kid age 8 and below should be left alone to cross the road on their own. Your child's life is so much more precious than anything else in the world. Please do not tempt Fate like that. May all little children around the world be well protected from dangers and harm.

Khen Rinpoche back in Kopan Monastery

Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup is now back in Kopan Monastery. A couple of days ago, I, together with many others went to the airport to send Rinpoche off before his flight to Kathmandu early in the morning. Managed to receive his kind blessings and photos taken with him. Rinpoche was smiling and cheerful, despite his illness.

We know it has been raining cats and dogs these few days. The night before Khen Rinpoche's flight, it was raining with thunder. I tweeted that I believe the heavy rain would stop early in the morning. Indeed, the rain stopped when I was on the way to the airport at 7am. The weather was quiet and cool. The heavy rain only resumed 2 hours later after Rinpoche's flight took off, and it continued raining throughout the rest of the day. Such is my experience; I know whenever a great master is arriving or departing, even the skies are tamed. Such is a wonderful mystical phenomena. :)

Last night, Lama Zopa Rinpoche sent word that he has just checked and advised that students and members can stop reciting the Diamond Cutter Sutra specifically for Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup’s health.

In Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s observation it seems there is now no need to do more recitations as some big pujas which were offered for Lama Lhundrup seem to have helped the situation a lot.

We strongly rejoice in all the merits created through these recitations and the pujas, which have been of great benefit to Khen Rinpoche and all. Thus we see the power of prayers collectively by Khen Rinpoche's students and FPMT members worldwide. May Khen Rinpoche recuperate well and may we see him back in Singapore soon so that we can continue to receive his teachings and blessings.

Recently the little retail shop in Amitabha Buddhist Centre was revamped. 

Among the many wonderful holy objects and items offered for sponsorship, there is a lovely set of the Buddha with 6 offering devas. This is a special blessed gift from Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup. If you would like to sponsor this, kindly contact ABC or head down to ABC to view this blessed gift from a holy being.

My other blog posts on Lama Lhundrup:

29 Sept 2011 - Project Swift Return

25 Sept 2011 -  A closer look at the growing relics of Khensur Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup, an amazing blessing!

20 Sept 2011 - Discovering Khensur Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup's Holy Relics 

18 Sept 2011 - Devoting to a guru

13 Sept 2011 - My dream of Lama Lhundrup just after his cremation  

12 Sept 2011 - Khensur Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup's last days and cremation  

9 Sept 2011 - Beautiful memories of Lama Lhundrup  

8 Sept 2011 - Passing into Parinirvana - Khensur Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup Rigsel  

22 Feb 2011 - Dream of Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup  

28 Jan 2011 -  Khen Rinpoche back in Kopan Monastery

19 Jan 2011 - Update on Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup's health

14 Jan 2011 - Prayers for Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup

20 Sept 2010 -  Healing in a matter of time, but it sometimes also a matter of opportunity

三菜一汤 by yours truly

It's a busy period these 2 months, hence won't have much time to cook, but I'll get sick of outside food after a while. So I will always try to find time to cook dinner for the family.  Although we are not vegetarians, we try to incorporate more vegetables and lesser meat in our dishes nowadays.

Here's a typical dinner, my 三菜一汤 (yes, soup is always a must)...

Stir-fry Spinach with Wolfberries and topped with fried shallots.

Pork Belly with Leek and Chinese Mushroom (most times, we add fried bean curd as well).

Sambal Petai with Ikan Bilis (petai is my favourite with prawns, ikan bilis or squid).

Szechuan Vegetables Soup with Radish and Carrots, with red dates, wolfberries, and pork ribs.

Curly-hair girly is 12 !!

On 11 Jan 2011, my niece turned 12.  It was a school day, so her parents brought her and 4 of her closest friends for lunch and ice skating after school.  Then we had dinner with her at home. So I didn't have a chance to snap a photo of her with birthday cake this year (she cut the cake with her friends).

How time flies! It feels just like yesterday, when she was this cute, chubby and fair baby.

Everyone thought she was mixed blood when she was a toddler with big sparkling eyes. She sleeps like a log.

We called her the curly-hair girly. I miss this little mild mannered girl.

She was trying to strangle her brother, but we know who was the actual monster.

Some time back, I did a collage of her growing up years with all photos here taken by me.

Today at 12, she is almost going to be the same height as me soon.

Happy Birthday, Girly!!!

Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup's immediate return to Kopan Monastery

Newsflash from Amitabha Buddhist Centre as at 25 Jan 2011, 3.55pm:

In accordance with the advice of Lama Zopa Rinpoche, Khen Rinpoche will be returning immediately to Kopan to seek Tibetan Medical treatment.

He will be flying off on Silk Air flight MI 412 terminal 2 on Wed 26 Jan 2011 and will be at the airport at 7.30am.

Everyone is most welcome to see him off at the airport, however there will be no individual blessing by Khen Rinpoche. All katas and offerings will be collected by volunteer and handed over to Khen Rinpoche at the gate.

PS: ABC will continue to collect for Khen Rinpoche Medical Fund at our office only. (NOTE: ABC did not authorise any representative to collect funds on behalf of the centre).

Who are you messing around with? Practicing patience

Sometimes I 'marvel' at the opportunities that allow me to practice patience everyday. Since last Friday and the entire weekend, I was busy attending important sacred teachings for about 6-9 hours each day. As I was unable to talk on the handphone, I had many missed calls and messages.  

One of the callers was an acquaintance whom I got to know 4-5 months ago and whom I have met only a few times. I got to know her from a meditation class. She is in her 20s. From my few encounters with her, I found her to be a little quirky and peculiar.  She is very new to meditation and Tibetan Buddhism. Because she was keen to know more, I tried to explain to her on surface what she could grasp and what she needed to know.  From my first conversation with her, I concluded she was having some minor problems. Like young adults in their prime time, she was very curious and was searching for the purpose of life, and how to solve some of life's profound problems. As a bystander, I know her problems were actually not that serious  (mostly peer pressure) but could not convince her otherwise. On one occasion, after attending a prayer session, she talked to me for 2-3 hours till midnight. I found myself reluctantly on a 'counselling mode'. We were not even talking about religion.

Why do I say she is quirky and peculiar? For a young person, I find her mind to be very far away all the time, as if in deep thoughts, so much so that I suspected that she was not paying attention to what I said half the time. Very absent-minded. I always had to repeat something 2, 3 times. Although she claimed to be a Buddhist, she asked me what Buddha statue was that when we were at the buddhist centre. I said it was Buddha Shakyamuni.  She repeated "Sa---- kya---- mu-----ni ?", I said yes. The following week, she asked me the same question again. I could not explain to her more stuff because for each term like "prayer", "purification", she gave me a blank look. I reminded myself not to confuse her (even though I was not even explaining anything profound!). My advice to her was to take it slowly by observing and to try to understand the root of her problem. Her mind seemed to be very very far away.

I do not know why, thereafter every time I know I was going to meet her, I would tend to become impatient and edgy. She wanted me to meet her as she did not know the directions, but she would either keep changing the time, or keep asking me where to meet, or she did not turn up in the end. Worse, she always do not answer phone calls or reply sms. She asked for some info and  asked me to email to her which I did. After a few weeks, she would ask me the same question again, and when I said I had already sent her, she said she did not receive and that I might have sent to the wrong email address (which I got from her sms!).... and the cycle starts all over again.  My patience was waning. I did not re-send since she was not serious about wanting the information for 2 months.

She owed me a little money for something for about 3 months which I had given up hope of getting back, even though I met her a few times in between. When she finally remembered and transferred money to me, it was more than a month after. Then she sent me Christmas sms something like "May the good Lord bless you... etc... God bless...... etc..".  OH GOD. It might be a generic sms greeting, but I have a thing about people being insensitive to others in this aspect (and I thought she is a Buddhist?!). This is another story for another time.

The past weekend while I was in the long sessions, she kept calling me (which I could not answer), and sent me random smses, which was unusual because she rarely answers phone calls herself. She asked if I was keen to go somewhere that day, I texted her that I was busy, and could not reply. Then she texted if I had received the money she owed, and when I replied "yes, thanks", again she continued texting, asking if I wanted to meet for tea (I thought I had just told her I was not free?!). She continued, asking about the upcoming Dharma programmes, and when I texted her to refer to the websites, no reply!  She then sms AGAIN, wanting to meet up during CNY, and  AGAIN asked me for my email address. She wanted to email me some links on some interesting stuff etc... I did not reply thereafter.

Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup's message to all students

As at 23 Jan 2011, Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhubdrup addresses students around the world about his condition. Checks by HH Dalai Lama, Lama Zopa Rinpoche and many rinpoches have turned out for Khen Rinpoche to receive Tibetan Medication. He will be returning to Kopan Monastery from Singapore soon. All our prayers go out to our dearest guru for his quickest recovery.

Since news broke of Khen Rinpoche's sickness, many students and disciples all over the world have been searching for news updates of Rinpoche. I know because many landed in this blog, since I have posted his news earlier. I am still sad but happy and touched at the same time to see Khen Rinpoche and his message. Through his sickness, we continue to receive teachings of the Dharma. Through his own example of practicing Tonglen even though he is suffering from cancer, we realize the kindness of a highly realized guru. May Khen Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup have a speedy recovery, in order to continue to benefit many sentient beings through his teachings and practice.

Tonglen in Tibetan means "giving and taking". In Tonglen practice, through our compassion, we take on (embrace without resistance) the various sufferings of all beings: their fear, hurt, frustration, pain, anger, guilt, bitterness, loneliness, doubt, rage, and so forth. In return, we give them our loving-kindness, happiness, peace of mind, well-being, healing, and fulfillment.  Practicing Tonglen on someone in pain helps us begin the process of gradually widening the circle of our compassion. From there, we can learn to take on the suffering and purify the karma of all beings; giving others our happiness, well-being, joy, and peace of mind. Tonglen practice can extend indefinitely, and gradually, over time, our compassion will expand. We will find that we have a greater ability to be loving and present for ourselves and for others in even the most difficult situations. This is the wonderful goal of Tonglen practice, the path of the compassionate Bodhisattva.

Random thoughts at 3am

My MIO modem is spoilt, so I cannot use my laptop to surf or blog. However thank heavens I have my iPhone to tweet and blog and almost everything else.

Its 2am, my stomach is growling and I am in bed trying to sleep. And since I can't get to sleep yet, think I shall attempt to blog on my iPhone. Having many thoughts during this period. Many of our thoughts and emotions are mostly due to our daily interaction with people (which we cannot avoid). We are actually quite a reactive bunch. It is always due to this and that person that cause us to be happy / sad / angry etc.. When we are happy we like to think it must be because of so and so who gave me treat, who has done me a favor, bought me a gift... We think that person or something is the cause of our happiness.

Likewise, we are extra quick to blame someone when they did us injustice or make us angry/sad. We always see the need to blame the cause of our unhappiness to someone else too. Through our deluded thoughts, we never think or allow ourselves to think that we are actually the one at fault.

How do I keep myself in check when I am being too judgemental, or too quick to blame someone else for my misfortunes or unhappiness? Well, for me, putting myself in another person's shoes does help.

A couple of days ago, while having dinner at my neighborhood coffeeshop, I saw an old neighbor since my old house days. Let's call him Mr Chen. My parents know him but I do not think he knows me.

Mr Chen is probably around late 60s or early 70s. Due to a little immobility (weak legs cause him to limp slightly, and walk slowly), he is always sitting downstairs at the void deck or watching tv/ having meals at the same coffeeshop. He also eats slowly. I heard he has a wife and daughter. But he is always alone downstairs.

I remember in his younger days, Mr Chen was such an active person and athletic healthy looking. He was also one of the PAP grassroots leader/worker always seen running around our estate and organizing resident events. His looks of confidence and smiles then were a far cry from today. When I see him now, I cannot help but feel sad for him. But why do I feel sad for him, a stranger, when I do not even know his life story. For all you know, he may be happy doing what he did last time, as well as what he is doing daily now, idling and eating meals at the coffeeshops, alone. Why do I think so much "on behalf" of a stranger?

I also thought about the elderly lady I was sitting next to during the dharma session tonight. I have seen her many times before and chatted very briefly on occasions. She is a very quiet and soft spoken lady. Tonight, pointing at a scarf on her cushion, she told me that my friend had given it to her. I asked which friend. She did not know the name but after a few seconds I knew who (big wave and kudos to my 2 kind friends if you are both reading this. You know who I am referring to *grin*). In an almost apologetic way, this elderly lady then told me she has never travelled out of the country before, not even once.

I do not know why she suddenly told me that but in that instant, I feel so much for her. I am not sure if it is due to pity or astonishment or... because I was very much humbled by her. I travel a minimum of at least once or twice a year annually, until one year ago, I stopped for some reason. Cambodia was my last trip. Although I know my travels will start soon when I get things sorted out, I had been a little sad and even resentful I could not go for a number of trips which I had planned to. I have already seen half the world, yet I am unhappy I still have not seen the other half.

Then tonight, this lady just had to tell me this, an insignificant remark, but it made a huge impact on me. It sets me thinking about my priorities and a timely reminder that despite what I feel, I am still very much more fortunate than many others. This lady has not travelled once. That Mr Chen also cannot travel even if he wants to.

Like what Dagyab Rinpoche mentioned tonight... practicing Dharma is not about attending that 2-hour prayer session, or ritual, or during meditation, or going on a retreat, or attending Dharma classes. Practicing Dharma is 24 hours. 24/7. In our daily speech and action, no matter what we are doing, we have to check our mind.

I am thankful for the many Bodhisattvas or Angels in disguise who always appear to teach me a lesson, to make me check myself, to check my conflicting thoughts, to check my mind.

It's 3am, I better get to sleep. May I have auspicious dreams tonight.

Hanging around with darlings

The December holidays came and past by quickly. This is what I did with niece and nephew on some days, the simple stuff.

We went to East Coast Park to cycle. Beautiful beach during mid day.

In between, we rest and play sudoku under the shades. Bike basket "Not For Dog"

We also had long walks.

After foodcourt lunch, we went Swensons for ice cream. Nephew was still hungry.

Ordered their usual favourite, Sticky Chewy Chocolate.

Another day, we went Sakae Sushi and had the kids' fav Jap items.

Nephew likes to pose for me now, and not niece. They like conveyor belt.

We went to watch Megamind & the arcade, a luxury only during the school hols.

Completed the day with Marble Slab ice cream topped with Oreos.

Another day, we went Soup Spoon. We didnt like their Pumpkin Soup anymore

.

Went for free Ben & Jerry ice cream with waffle.

Tucking in.....

We lazed on the sofa in B&J.

On the way home, nephew knocked out.

When we were slurping our ice cream, I asked nephew,

Me: "R, if next time I am very old, poor, and hungry and if next time you own a restaurant, will you let yee yee eat in your restaurant 3 meals everyday for free?"

R, nodding his head: "Yes, of course, you can eat for free."

Me: "You sure??" (touched)

R: "Yes lah, sure! (then he gave me a mischievous grin) You all very funny you know, always ask me if next time when I grow up, I'll be this and that... What if next time I grow up, I become a lawyer, do you want me to give you free of charge for all your law suits?"

Me: "CHOI !!!!!"