Mary's Kafe

It was raining cats and dogs. I passed by a place called Secret Garden in Waterloo Street but it was closed. I snapped a photo as it was a quaint nice place. I proceeded next door to the SCWO Building to take cover in Mary's Kafe. I had heard about her small little cafe which specialised in Eurasian food and wonderful pastries. The cafe was closed but we bumped into the owner, Mary outside. She just came back from somewhere and we asked if we could have a drink and snack in her cafe. She warmly opened the door for us and quickly switched on the aircon for us as we sat at one of the only 2 tables indoors, the rest of the tables were in the open outside.

As I already had lunch, we ordered some drinks and one of her kueh kueh. I asked about her pineapple tarts and if I could try them. She said she was actually baking them for a client, but if we could wait, she could make some more. I said no problem. I had actually dropped in a few weeks ago before CNY to check out her tarts but was told they were already sold out and she was not taking any more orders.

For about one hour, we had our drinks and snack of kueh kueh and curry puff (compliments from her). It was a bright simple place for a chit chat. Finally my pineapple tarts were ready, piping hot. She was generous with the filling and it was not too sweet, which was what I liked. The pastry was fresh and crispy, although I would have preferred it to be more buttery. Overall, it was not too bad. I took my precious box of 20 pineapple tarts home, so that my mom could try (in case she wanted to order next year).

BTW Mary would be shifting the cafe location to the church nearby in Victoria Street by end April. However she would only open shop again on 1 July as she would be going for a long holiday to Europe. How wonderful. Looks like I would not be able to try her Eurasian dishes till then.

Learn, Accept, Trust, Practice

Working hard or smart?

The Difference Between Working Hard and Working Smart:

WORK HARD
= Work for Money (Active Income)
= Rich - Time
= Plenty of Money But No Time to Spend; Too Busy Trading Time for Money

WORK SMART
= Have Money Work For You (Passive Income)
= Rich + Time
= Wealthy (Plenty of Money With Lots of Free Time Because Income Is Passive)

"Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time."

It's your call.

Perfect cut

Just saw the first 2 episodes of the local series 一切完美 2 (Perfect Cut 2). It is the second series of local drama about the lives of a plastic surgeon and his patients. Although this is not prime time (it is showing at 10pm on Channel U), I like the dialogue very much. Compared to some shows on Channel 8, this is a much serious real-life-like drama, featuring the trials of patients and the surgeon who is dubbed "Doctor with a soul" (starring Thomas Ong). The drama addresses issues in plastic surgery, ethics, relationships, and the beauty of recovery.

The brilliant dialogue was well written, even the bickering of the doctor and his girlfriend was realistic. I like the cast. Thomas Ong is one actor I like since his younger days pair-up with Fann Wong (I still think they were the screen couple with chemistry), Michelle Chia, Edmund Chen, Phyllis Quek (long time no see and she is a fresh air among the young actresses, very poise and elegant), Zheng Wan Ling (a true blue veteran, she is a comic relief). 姜还是老的辣 all the veterans put in a tip top performance with an interesting storyline.

I also like the theme song 放了爱 and the heart warming lyrics.
放了爱
会明白
有种拥有
叫做放手 ...



你指向远方 爱情很晴朗
笑问不如今后就我们俩
怕泪会反光 钻进你的胸膛
但那不是感动 是 泪无法储藏

把美梦锁上 以为是天堂
羽翼折起在你身边静静躺
却只能用目光在空中翱翔
还得乔装安份 靠在你肩膀

放了爱 为了爱
这不是我 该怎么生活
放了爱

你说你喜欢 我笑得开朗
你越温柔 我越不想撒谎
我已办不到你想要的那样
客气地配合你 我感觉更勉强

别人的幸福 何必要模仿
心不在何苦 留躯壳在身旁
加满自由 我要无重量飞翔
就算以分离收场

放了爱 为了爱
这不是我 该怎么生活
放了爱 会明白
有种拥有 叫做放手

我的心 为爱流离失所
紧握最后回家的线索
等到寻获真正的我
证明我决定没有错

放了爱 为了爱
这不是我 想要的生活
放了爱 你会明白
有种拥有 叫做放手
放了爱

Silly revelations

1. I just discovered I have greyish brown eyes. I thought I had dark brown eyes. I do have double eyelids, just that sometimes they went into hiding, depending on mood. Next time when I am older, if my eyes begin to droop or get puffy or wrinkled, I will go and get them fixed.

2. Nowadays I am seldom on MSN. I am on invisible mode, so that I do not need to entertain mindless chit chat. Unless I need to chat with someone to fix an appointment, then I go online. Since the last time I discovered I was being blocked by a close friend, and she was chatting freely with everybody else, I had since lost interest to MSN with anybody - be it close or not-so-close friends.

3. As humans, I discovered that we are very affected by stuff and people around us, so much so we lose our own self sometimes. What people say or do, affected us so badly that it follows us into the future and become an unhappy past. We must learn to let go of the baggage and take on a different perspective, so that we can be happier.

4. I have learnt that we must be kind to people, especially those we love. But we must never have the expectations that people will in turn react and respond in the same way. Sometimes those we love do not behave the same way, and we get affected. I am learning to be coolly-detached yet remotely connected.

5. I am glad I broke record for not buying a new bag in 6 months. Bags are my fetish, although I do not buy bags that are very expensive or branded, all below $250. The most expensive bag I ever bought, the zip was spoilt within a few weeks. Once I bought a CK bag for a friend as a farewell and thank-you gift. It was the most expensive bag I ever bought for someone, almost $200, (it was not the most expensive gift I ever bough, it was the most expensive bag I bought as a gift) and I did not even know if it was being appreciated or being used. I guess I need to thank my friend for making me realise I was so silly.

6. Once upon a time, I was very upset when an ex-staff quitted. We were close as a team, and had expected her to tell me even before she accepted the offer. I was upset because she just threw in the letter, giving me no chance to counter-offer. I understand we need to climb the career ladder and when there is a good offer, staff will leave. I understand all that. What I was upset was she did not considered my feelings, especially since we were close as friends. I had fought so hard for her pay rise and more learning opportunities with my boss.

7. Thinking back, I realised there were a handful of people who would have given me a fantastic opportunity or two, or given me a boost of confidence in achieving something, or given me a windfall. However, I rejected them or I did not bother or I had different priorities then. My life would have been very different if I had taken up their offer. You win some, you lose some.

8. Some people I met, somehow things seemed to happen, or we have some conflict here and there. Normally when I checked their bazi, there must be some clash somewhere. I have a buddy who is my closest friend. We do not go out often but somehow when we do, or when we sms or email, there is sure to be conflict, making both of us frustrated sometimes (but I am glad we are still best of friends). Those we think we could not get along with, we can still avoid. But I wonder how, if those who has bazi conflict with you, happened to be your husband, or parents or children, or someone you really really really like?

9. I do still believe life can be happily ever after. How you make it happy, is entirely up to you. I may be a late bloomer or I have not achieved anything spectacular compared to social norms, but I am not resigning myself to fate. I believe I can still do something useful and achieve something worthy before I die. And how 'worthy' that something is, is based on my standard, not others. I do not believe in "game over". I believe in standing up again and fighting for my dreams till the last breath.

Cooking up a storm

These were some dishes that I tried to cook recently. They were all edible and some turned out quite nice actually.

After watching TV where someone used Bai He (otherwise known as Bulbus Lilii) to cook soup, I wanted to try what these white flower petals were all about. When I happened to chance upon Bai He in the supermarket, decided to have a go. However on the day of cooking, I discovered I do not have sufficient ingredients for the Bai He soup. So from the web, I found a Creamy Bai He recipe, which supposedly just used Bai He and milk and other condiments. I thought it was too risky as I did not even know the taste of Bai He. So I added some pork slices to it. It turned out to be sweet and real milky looking. It tasted alright but everyone were just not used to the sweet savoury dish.

Next is Cabbage with Taupok and Roast Pork. I did not have roast pork, hence I used a can of stewed pork, which was sweeter than roast pork. I stir fried all the cabbage, taupok (bean curd skin), stewed pork and mushrooms. This dish was nice and appetising.

I had some premix fish curry sauce. So I added brinjal and cherry tomatoes along with the fish to cook Curry Fish. And since it was premixed, the curry sauce tasted alright. I should have used more fish, because I ended with loads of sauce.

The last dish is Braised Tau Kwa (beancurd). This is a traditional dish passed down by Grandma and everyone including mom and aunts and uncles have been trying to emulate Grandma's version which was really fantastic. We eat this normally with plain porridge in Grandma's house, as the braised tau kwa was salty enough and very juicy. I cut the tau kwa into cubes and fried them till they were a little golden brown. Then I added mushrooms and the tau kwa into the pot to be slowly cooked. A special spice I added was the Star Aniseed, which really made a difference in the final taste of the tau kwa. Erm... my version is not quite there yet compared to Grandma's delicious version, but it was better than those selling outside.

Time out - Parable of the Dustbin with a hole

This morning I overslept till quite quite late. I woke up just before noon. I vaguely remembered I woke up around 8am as I usually do, and I remembered telling myself just 5 more minutes, and I did not even know I had gone back to sleep. Luckily I had no urgent meetings today.

I did not know what got into me. One moment I was so sleep-deprived that I slept and slept, and the next, I was suffering from insomnia that I did everything but sleep. I wonder if my state of mind or state of well-being is ok at the moment.

I listened to Ajahn Brahm's teaching about Inter-connectedness. Here is the gist of it, simplified by me.

What we do will always cause ripples in the water, our good or bad actions will affect others, even strangers. What we do affect others because we care for each other and not just caring for ourselves. Hence we should strive not to harm people. We are not alone in this world. People, even strangers, who cares about you, will react when they see you in pain. The world never laughs at you, it only laugh WITH you.

Hence we should never underestimate the little words of kindness we said or what others said. Offer a word of kindness even to strangers, to people who need our help and it may change their life forever. By doing this, we can change the environment in our state of mind.

On the other hand, because we are all affected by each other, we are all inter-connected. Sometimes being too connected, or too attached to something, can upset you and waste alot of energy. Whether to stay connected or to cut that connection when need be, is all within your control, within your power to do so.

It is important that we know how to disconnect, and when to shout "time out". Time out means we do not need to be too concerned about other people's doings or sayings. It is a realisation to know that we can disconnect.

In Buddhist term, "disconnect" refers to "detached". When we think of "detached", we think "cold-hearted", but this is not so. When we disconnect or be detached, we take time off, to be alone, to take responsibility for our own happiness. We should not allow others to control our own happiness. For instance, if I get upset or angry, does it really help me, does it help others too?

We have to know that sometimes, we can be happy, or we can be unhappy, and this is life. We should not allow the ups and downs of life to affect our moods, to upset our inner being.

When we try to disconnect any upsetting issue or disappointment in life, sometimes it is hard, especially if they are issues close to your heart. But then again, what can be closer to your heart than your own body, your own state of mind? How do we disconnect with our body?

We should never allow, for example, sickness to affect your mind. Although the body is sick, your mind need not be sick. If you do not know how or when to disconnect, you are like a balloon, you will get blown around, you will feel overwhelmed. So it is good to be detached from time to time.

How many of us carry our past with us? Do we remember all the disappointment and hurt of the past and carry them with us. Are we able to let go? There is no need to be punished or be hurt by our past. And the beauty is, the realisation of knowing actually you can let go and disconnect from your history. Why allow ourselves to be hurt when we deserve to be happy and successful in the present. Being a prisoner of the past can impede or stop our growth to be successful / happy.

The same goes to the future. We can disconnect from the future as well, and stay in the present. We can be a good listener, be a counsellor, be a friend. Imagine yourself as a dustbin. You can be there for others listening to them, and be kind to them. However, we must ensure the dustbin in us, has a hole at the bottom. We can be a dustbin for others, connect with others to allow them to put their problems into our dustbin, and the hole at the bottom ensures you can disconnect afterwards. In that way, we can be more caring. If there is no hole in the dustbin, you will get filled up, you will feel full of people's problems, without knowing how to let go. Having the hole, we give ourselves more strength, more space, more power, take time out, so that we can be more compassionate. We do not get burnt out or overwhelmed. We do not carry our own problems and others' problems around. We can disconnect so that we can recharge with more energy, and in turn help others.

Hence, we are all interconnected, we can let go and be detached. In a sense, we are helping each other to let go.

Briyani lunch

I was nearby in Serangoon Road, Little India. So thought I had go to the foodcourt near Tekka Mall for my late lunch. Who knows, it was shut down and I was very hungry. Behind Tekka Mall, was the Banana Leaf Restaurant, selling southern and northern cuisine. I ordered a Briyani Mutton Set since it was a looooong time since I had briyani. It came with mutton, and 2 types of veggies on a banana leaf, with pappadum and lime juice.

The food was not warm enough to me. But the briyani rice and the dishes were very appetising as they were spicy and hot. The spicy stuff woke all my senses. I have been taking bland food for the past few weeks, so my taste buds had gone lethargic. So the hot spicy gravy and rice had awakened my taste buds plus the refreshing lime juice. A hearty meal, although I wished the food was kept more warm.

Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul

Dr Lee Wei Ling, daughter of Mr Lee Kuan Yew, former PM of Singapore, is the director of the National Neuroscience Institute. She wrote this well written piece of article "Slump has arrived".

In 2007, in an end-of-year message to the staff of the National Neuroscience Institute, I wrote: 'Whilst boom time in the public sector is never as booming as in the private sector, let us not forget that boom time is eventually followed by slump time. Slump time in the public sector is always less painful compared to the private sector.'

Slump time has arrived with a bang.

While I worry about the poorer Singaporeans who will be hit hard, perhaps this recession has come at an opportune time for many of us. It will give us an incentive to reconsider our priorities in life. Decades of the good life have made us soft. The wealthy especially, but also the middle class in Singapore , have had it so good for so long, what they once considered luxuries, they now think of as necessities.

A mobile phone, for instance, is now a statement about who you are, not just a piece of equipment for communication. Hence many people buy the latest model though their existing mobile phones are still in perfect working order.

A Mercedes-Benz is no longer adequate as a status symbol. For millionaires who wish to show the world they have taste, a Ferrari or a Porsche is deemed more appropriate.

The same attitude influences the choice of attire and accessories. I still find it hard to believe that there are people carrying handbags that cost more than thrice the monthly income of a bus driver , and many more times that of the foreign worker labouring in the hot sun, risking his life to construct luxury condominiums he will never have a chance to live in.

The media encourages and amplifies this ostentatious consumption. Perhaps it is good to encourage people to spend more because this will prevent the recession from getting worse. I am not an economist, but wasn't that the root cause of the current crisis - Americans spending more than they could afford to?

I am not a particularly spiritual person. I don't believe in the supernatural and I don't think I have a soul that will survive my death. But as I view the crass materialism around me, I am reminded of what my mother once told me: 'Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul.'

My family is not poor, but we have been brought up to be frugal. My parents and I live in the same house that my paternal grandparents and their children moved into after World War II in 1945. It is a big house by today's standards, but it is simple - in fact, almost to the point of being shabby.

Those who see it for the first time are astonished that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's home is so humble. But it is a comfortable house, a home we have got used to. Though it does look shabby compared to the new mansions on our street, we are not bothered by the comparison.

Most of the world and much of Singapore will lament the economic downturn. We have been told to tighten our belts. There will undoubtedly be suffering, which we must try our best to ameliorate.

But I personally think the hard times will hold a timely lesson for many Singaporeans, especially those born after 1970 who have never lived through difficult times. No matter how poor you are in Singapore , the authorities and social groups do try to ensure you have shelter and food. Nobody starves in Singapore.

Many of those who are currently living in mansions and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle will probably still be able to do so, even if they might have to downgrade from wines costing $20,000 a bottle to $10,000 a bottle. They would hardly notice the difference.

Being wealthy is not a sin. It cannot be in a capitalist market economy. Enjoying the fruits of one's own labour is one's prerogative and I have no right to chastise those who choose to live luxuriously.

But if one is blinded by materialism, there would be no end to wanting and hankering. After the Ferrari, what next? An Aston Martin?
After the Hermes Birkin handbag, what can one upgrade to?

Neither an Aston Martin nor a Hermes Birkin can make us truly happy or contented. They are like dust, a fog obscuring the true meaning of life, and can be blown away in the twinkling of an eye.

When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire? Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it?

We know which is the correct choice - and it is within our power to make that choice.

In this new year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely.

To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly.

The whole truth and nothing but the truth

I like people who are frank with me. I dislike people who are not upfront and avoid issues simply by avoiding or by pretending nothing happened, especially if they are people whom I am most concerned with. And I especially dislike it when I was left 'hanging in the air' without even knowing the actual reason behind any disagreement or conflict with others. I do not like to be guessing, second guessing and making unfounded assumptions. Even when things could not be resolved, at least let me know the reason why, instead of just brushing me off. At least me and the other party can "agree to disagree" instead of not knowing why we disagreed in the first place.

This morning, I was sms-ing with someone whom I respected and looked up to, who normally gave me advise on and off. I wanted to buy her dinner or drinks one of the days as I owed her a treat. She told me it was ok, she did not need me to treat her and then told me the reason why. If she is reading my blog, yes I am telling you I appreciate that (for telling me the reason), instead of just saying no or even scolding me. Actually I already knew the reason she mentioned. I was just joking to her refusal "didn't know I was that unlikeable". She said how could I concluded that I was unlikeable just because she could not meet me, she said I was nice, and then she told me the reason why she could not accept my treat.

I was happy, not because of her refusal, but because she told me the truth. This was what I am driving at. Be frank, upfront, the truth. I do not take her answer negatively even though I got a "no" or even if I was scolded, because I already knew the truth. And because I knew the truth, I did not need to conclude or assume about the untruth. She then gave me another piece of advice. I appreciate that and I would strive towards that. I had been really frustrated and unhappy most of the time for the past 2 - 3 years, especially last year. I was 'lembek" (Malay for physically and mentally tired) for the past 2 - 3 years. I was squashed between truth and untruth, understanding and misunderstandings, love and hate, distinguishing good from the bad etc... But now I am already bouncing back to my old self. I just need time.

Ruining it

Sis was telling me my nephew had told her he really enjoyed his overnight stays at my place or whenever he was here. So my sis asked him how about at home? His answer was, "You have ruined my life at home." Sis was floored. She didn't know to be angry (that he did not like staying home) or sad (that he has accused her) or shocked (that he knew the meaning of "ruin"). She asked him where he learnt the word from. He said from her! I think this was an innocent protest from the kid, because normally when the kids were home, they were not allowed to watch TV, even if they were, it was only 30 minutes. And at home, they always have tons of assignments or homework or tuition to do. At my place, he could watch as much cartoon as he liked, he could sleep late, he could play any game but provided he behaved himself.

Another time, she told me, he also asked her what was the meaning of "tactful" . So sis explained to him. When she finished, nephew immediately told sis that she was always not tactful to him because she did not say things to him in a nice and polite way. I think mothers being mothers, are always having their patience tested by the kids, that their response are always curt and no nonsense, which instilled fear in the kids.

I found it so utterly amusing. I told her he was so smart. He should be encouraged to read more books, as he was able to relate what he learnt and used it in different circumstances. He learnt from what he read from books, he learnt from what he watched on TV, he learnt and was very observant to everything. This was because he was curious. We should tap on his sponge-like brain and expose him to all sorts of learning experiences.

And learning can be fun, not necessarily only from school books. I gave him a measuring tape and I told him to help me measure some pieces of furniture in a room and to propose to me how I could rearrange them such that each piece could still fit in nicely with the constrained space. With all importance and seriousness, he took the tape and measure each and every furniture, and learnt about "INCH" and "CM" and "FEET" and how to calculate the differences in the measurements of different furniture and gave me many suggestions how to rearrange each piece. That was a fun exercise.

I believe learning should be fun and that kids must be exposed to different ways of learning and different ways of relating what they have learnt in real life. From these experiences and exposure, kids will enjoy and remember what they have learnt and discover something interesting along the way.

Cooking its way into our hearts

In one of those days, I cooked these dishes for dinner with plain rice. Yes our family do not stinge on food, no matter how rich or how poor we were, we would always made sure there was sufficient delicious food on the table. And we would not starve our guests. We appreciate and enjoy our food, especially when food was eaten and enjoyed together as a family, bonding time. I think there is no better way than to eat and bond at the table the Chinese way. That is why home-cooked food always taste better than the food outside.

On the top left pix, this dish consisted of beancurd, mushrooms, minced meat, and a special salted vegetables from Taiwan. I fried the sliced 'tau kwa' (beancurd) first and took them out. Then I added chopped garlic and little onions, and stir-fried the minced meat, the salted veggies and mushrooms, adding in the beancurd again at the last step. It was not bad although it was not salty as I expected.

First time I prepared steamed garlic prawns. Medium-size prawns were cleaned with the shells intact. The sauce mix was more important - chopped garlic, salt, sugar, light soya sauce, a little sesame oil and "hua diao" wine (or brandy, but I could not find my brandy). The sauce was poured into the prawns and steamed for 10 minutes. And they were ready - fresh and fragrant.

I cooked my favourite asparagus and young corn again. This time I added beech mushrooms and my favourite ingredient, the bacon. Again here, the sauce mix is important - soya sauce, water, sugar, salt, corn flour. I steamed both the asparagus and young corn first. Then I seived them out. I stir fried the chopped garlic, onions, bacon and beech mushrooms for a while, then I poured in the sauce mix. And when the sauce was boiling I added some shallots. I poured the sauce onto the asparagus and young corn. It was so crunchy and nice.

The last dish, curry chicken, was cooked by mom, the traditional way, meaning preparing lots of spices and ingredients from scratch. I would have used premix curry powder if I was the one cooking (hehe). Her curry chicken was very "tek kong" (out of this world) and quite spicy. But it was very nice as the chicken wings and potatoes were very tender. We usually like the curry gravy with plain rice or dip bread into the gravy.

As I mentioned before, I cook to relieve stress, and to discover new ways of cooking typical home-cooked dishes, or whenever I got sick of mom's cooking. So my cooking and my dishes only make special appearance from time to time. Haha!

Terror twins

These are my 9 year-old twin cousins, Darryl and Darren. They really live up to their name, being "terrors". Their energy was unstoppable, hyperactive to the max. One minute they could be on the floor wrestling their guts out with each other. Next they could be busily engrossed in their PSPs that nobody could disturb them. And the next minute they could be rummaging the fridge for food. Their appetite was huge. A few cans of soft drinks and a box of chocolate as well as a big packet of potato chips disappeared within minutes. Their antics were heart-stopping. When they were outside, they were fearless, did not care about getting lost, would dash across roads on their own, and even attempted a disappearing act once or twice. They were the ones who tried to sell their stationery from home to their classmates in school for some extra pocket money. One of them did not do as well as his brother for the exams and ended in a different class, just because he missed out 2 pages of the exam papers. They could not care less, and their mommy often dread getting calls from their teachers. Boys are boys, can't blame them. But I do hope they would grow up to be nice chaps.

Sleepless

Last night I was a total wreck. I did not sleep a single wink. Was busy entertaining guests the whole day earlier and had had a few drinks or so. Was very very busy and very very tired the whole weekend, but yet I could not sleep. Plus after learning a piece of news, I was kept awake for the entire night. Hence the whole of today was totally knocked out with nose bleeding.

Last night as I sat there in front of my laptop, as well as when I tried to lie down to sleep, all efforts were futile. I thought of my past 2 - 3 years, how those years had evolved for me, I thought of the people I met and how I got acquainted with the good ones, the bad ones. I thought of my career, and all the changes that happened in the homefront and work life and friends. I recalled all the things that happened, the happy ones, the unhappy ones, the obstacles, the sweet successes. And thought of my plans in the coming years. I had to decide on which of the few routes I could move forward with. I have to choose what was best for me whereby I would be more comfortable with, as well as taking care of the finances, and at the same time, making sure I would be happy. Although I have met some undesirable characters, I take heart that many benefactors have also appeared in my life to help me at crossroads and to lighten my obstacles. Now I know things happened for a reason, and it was my karma.

I have not made any written resolutions this year. I decided not to. I decided my resolution for this year is to make it better than it had been the past 2 years. When it is dark enough, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What a joke

I once told a young friend of mine, B, what I thought of her various suitors. But being young, B was flattered by those fellas, that she resented me for my harsh (frank) comments. But words by her suitors were all taken in by her - lock stock and barrel. I was the bad guy / cold blanket instead. I had told B they were not suitable for her. I think she deserved someone better.

True enough within a few months, Potential Boyfriend A found a new girl, and even faster, was finding a room to cohabit with her. So much so for a guy whom B had gushed about his fantastic photography skills, or how the bugger was trying to slim down because of her. Yet he was still smoking and drinking, something which B did not like. Coming from a traditional family, the word "cohabit" did not even exist. So what potential boyfriend was this?

Potential Boyfriend B, tall, dark (eye bags) and handsome, thought to be a great catch for B. All the sweet nothings trying to get closer to her. I saw just a cunning slimy man. True enough within a few months, he found a super duper pretty model-lookalike girlfriend, to show off during friends' weddings and gatherings, all right in front of B. Yet he still maintained he was "single", carried on drinking, smoking and partying. So what potential boyfriend was this?

There were plenty of others. But B was too nice and too docile to reject all the advances of those jokers. So they were motivated to keep trying because B did not say "no". They sent flowers, they sent hugs and kisses, they sent the whole world to her just to please her. But still, B was too nice to say no. When it was time to put a foot down, you have to put a foot down. But the foot she put down was to me because of my "advise". She blocked me in MSN. She refused to talk to me. She did not answer my calls. She did not reply sms. She avoided me like a plague.

I was hurt by that. The ones B should steer clear were those buggers, and not me, just another ordinary friend, who thought I knew her well and who thought we were true friends enough for me to be frank. Thought B treated me as a valued friend/buddy. Apparently not.

The latest I know about her, B is finally in a relationship, Boyfriend C. Despite our disagreement over her choices, I was concerned about B and did not want her to be cheated. Even an overseas friend of mine who could "see through the crystal ball" told me about B's situation. She advised "She is in a relationship now but it is not long term for her. I don't see her being in a long term relationship any time soon. She must be careful of the guy and she must make sure she does not give too much of herself to him. For you, you have to let it go because she never cherished the friendship the way you did. She has moved on and avoided you because she did not want to deal with the misunderstanding with you. She was not upfront with her thoughts. It is never easy to get over the ones we dote on and those who misread your good intentions. I wish it is easier to let go but unfortunately you can't just take someone out of your mind as you both should have been really great friends".

Well, I know I should have minded my own business. I was just trying to make sure B would not get hurt as she was a kind-hearted innocent person and she was searching for the right one who could stay throughout and true to the end. I know her current squeeze would not (let's see). It will be short-lived. For now, she is too busy chasing after her dreams, money, and travels with new squeeze. Maybe she just had to experience her first heartbreak before she knows who is suitable for her, while 1001 words from me to pre-empt were futile. I know me being the kaypoh one, our friendship is over, as she did not know nor appreciated the things I did for her in the past. I was too disappointed and insulted that B had forsaken our friendship, which could not withstand those misunderstandings and those insignificant buggers. Time did not prove anything. So much for our heart to heart chats and confiding in each other.

I hope I don't have to say again "See ...I was right". I will just mind my own business now. Our acquaintance was a joke.

"Thanks anyways"